I Got Out of Bed for This??

The full moon tonight is the "Mourning Moon", appropriately named with all the weird things happening today. I jinxed myself by saying I was looking forward to another day of tossing and turning, I got what I asked for. After about 4-5 hours of sleep my husband wakes me up to tell me he's going out to run errands and to "watch the dog". We have an elderly Lab mix who's finally showing her age now at 16, trouble walking, some cognitive problems. Very sweet dog, though.

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I spend every night watching her (he gets the day shift), and of course as soon as he left the house, she got up and started wandering around so out of bed I came to follow the dog around. Watched a bit of MSNBC with the sound off ("oil spill in Spain is predicted to be worse than the Valdez spill", that's nice), and after the dog settled down again and I crawled back in bed and am finally dozing off, the phone rings, then they person hangs up, and calls right back. That'll guilt you into getting back up, what if it's my husband, what if his car broke down, what if....

It's the vet, calling to leave a vague message about the dog's bloodwork, she needs more tests, OK, no problem. Poor dog's on as more medicine than I am.

Just dozing off again, husband comes home, overreacts to the fact that the vet called, back on the phone (I'm the official medical/legal/etc. translator around our house, even when I'm half asleep), bring her back Thursday (morning! ugghh) for the tests. TV blasting in the other room, talking heads on one of the news stations (doesn't he get tired of non-stop news, I have to watch something just for fun occasionally, my favorite mindless choice is the Home & Garden Channel), fall back asleep...

I have the recurring dream again, I've been having it almost nightly in one form or another for months. My husband and I are moving into a huge old house where the other people are still there and I'm trying to get their tons of junk packed up and get them out of the house while moving our stuff in and trying to find a clean restroom to take a shower in. There's trash in the shower drains. There's so much stuff in the house it's overwhelming, but it's a really cool house so I keep on. Sometimes the dream is that we're buying or have inherited an old house that still has the former owners belonging in it and I'm having to try and sort out what we can keep, what's worth keeping, sometimes it's really neat stuff and the dream is really kind of a treasure hunt.

Other parts of the dream that are recurring are: for some reason the house or rooms can't be properly secured or locked, there are windows missing, broken locks, etc. I think that can be traced to my childhood where I shared a connecting bathroom with my little brother and one of the dooors never locked correctly, always made me feel insecure. Another element is that I'm always searching for a proper bathroom, that's clean, has doors on the stalls, has a private shower, etc. And sometimes the dilemma isn't moving in, it's that we have to move out of a huge crowded house and I'm trying to get as much packed as possible while having to decide what's really worth taking and what I have to leave behind.

Psychology-wise, I'd say the dreams interpret as: I'm overwhelmed, insecure, and have too much stuff. And have a deep need for privacy. All true, especially the last year or two. I left my fulltime job for a medical leave a few years ago and have been trying to make a living on the internet and Ebay, and did quite well at first but the last year has been very slow, but then that's true for every business.

At the end of the dream, I have a "dream within a dream" that I can't wake up and I've overslept and it's like 7 pm. So when I do wake up, I'm in a slight panic, thinking this is true (years of shift work will do that to you also). I wake up exhausted, but relieved to find I have another hour to sleep, though I'm not certain I want to go back to the "house". Start dozing off again, and in comes husband, he's been depressed all day because of the dog (she's really doing quite well, honestly), he's going to take his afternoon shower early, so I have to get up again. Oh well, the end of sleep for today.

After he finishes, I decide to shower and try and wake up too, we're actually going to get to go out to eat dinner tonight. Our first thought is to go to our favorite Chinese restaurant, but then we decide on the Black-Eyed Pea (nice filling American comfort food). With Thanksgiving approaching, I've been craving turkey and dressing and theirs ain't half bad. We're both still in rather somber moods, go to the used bookstore afterwards but I'm just not in the mood for it. Normally you can't get me to leave once I'm there, but today the aisles of books just seem to make me dizzy and disoriented.

I get home, check my email and I have three unhappy Ebay customers (I have 6000+ positive feedbacks so this bothers me). One person has an expensive damaged item (in the Netherlands of course, no cheap shipping refunds for me), one person hasn't received their necklace (OK, look through the shipping records, I don't see it on my postage receipts, no problem, send another, fortunately it's something I have extras of), and the third person bought a movie collectible item apparently expecting a retail item and is being wants a refund. OK, that's not my problem. I spend a lot of time taking photos and writing descriptions and this one is exactly as described.

Yikes, I just want to go back to bed. I'm sipping a really nice 10 year old Port trying to get rid of the "crawling skin" feeling as I type this. I don't feel very productive or imaginative from lack of sleep. I feel like I have a bad case of PMS, though it's not time for that yet.

While I'm getting things out of my head, had an even more interesting dream the night before last. (I drive my husband nuts when I try and explain these dreams to him, he rarely remembers his, and he thinks I'm nuts!) We're in a huge old house that was some kind of student dorm and it was Halloween. I was trying to go upstairs but every stairwell had some kind of haunted house monster on it blocking the way, ready to jump out at me. So I try a different way, but it's a moving stairwell, you had to jump on it, like and elevator and I can't do it. Then I find another stairway, and there's a monster on it, but it turns out to be my husband in a mask, so we both go upstairs. We get up there and there's a little girl in a room with big open spaces where there should be windows and no door, just an opening in the wall. There's a big black panther stalking the halls and we realize that we have to get to a room that we can close before it catches us. We're running from room to room, sort of a live video game, avoiding the panther, trying to warn people. I think I woke up then.

Still with me? Thanks, my entries aren't usually this long, but as I mentioned, it's a full moon... I think I'll go to bed early tonight.

Posted by Morticia at November 19, 2002 11:36 PM | TrackBack