More peeves, I'm in a peevy mood today...
I've been trying to move a bunch of my auction images to the new storage site and eBay has been driving me fricking insane all night. They have a bug, which is only getting worse, where they make you login over and over again instead of once as it's supposed to be, and I'd get halfway through updating an auction and it would tell me I'm not the seller and make me login again. Eventually it just completely stalled out and I gave up. I don't even think I'm halfway through one store (with 200+ images) and I still have my main store to work on. I was trying to get them all done before the end of the month so I could get accurate traffic stats for March without the eBay hits.
Even though I've stopped eating/taking everything I can think of that would make me break out in hives I'm still getting the damned things. I look like I had a fight with a rose bush, and my eyes are itching and tearing. Plus the mosquitoes seem to have awoken from their hibernation and I'm one of those people they seek out. They never bite Sparky, they've been after me my whole life, maybe it's my blood type, I dunno.
Never did start my period (sometimes I don't, I'd much rather it be that way than the problems most women my age have, of too much), restarted by BC pills and some of the hot flashes have abated, though I spent the whole morning tossing and turning.
My glasses are REALLY bothering me big time. I actually shilled out big bucks to get some prescription reading and distance ones made, and the optometrist made the reading ones way too strong and put an astigmatism correction on the left eye on both pairs and it makes me dizzy to wear the damned things. He said give it a month and try it, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get used to either pair, and am going to have to have the left lenses remade. My non-prescription reading glasses are getting old and seem to constantly be dirty, which is giving me little panic attacks. I was born with rotten vision, but when I was like 18 I got contact lenses and wore them for about 8 years or so until I got RK. Then everything (except my night vision) was great until a few years ago when basically a combination of the RK, my MS, and age started making my vision just go to hell. And I'm told I can't wear soft contacts again, perhaps special (expensive) hard ones. but anyway, I hate wearing glasses again, even though they're not half an inch thick anymore. It appears like I'm looking through a tunnel and it makes me feel very vulnerable and helpless, which is not a feeling I'm used to...
And don't even get me started on Ralph Nader. The Democratic debates were fun tonight, I noticed Kerry and Edwards were making nice references to each other and kind of shying away from Al and Dennis, who, having nothing to lose, were going all out. I'm still getting Dean emails, I still have a Dean sticker in my car window, his camp is working on some sort of continuing project, but I'm not really sure what.
Damn the heater came on again, got to go turn the temperature down to 69, I'm not looking forward to sweating in the shower before bed (yuck). I'm actually looking forward to being able to have the AC on again.
I had the weirdest dream about vampires and Angel last night. I wish I could remember more of this, it was one of those very emotional dreams where I felt both severely depressed and incredibly happy, and it seemed to go on forever. It started off with Sparky taking me out to breakfast, but the places we went to weren't serving breakfast any longer, which really upset me but didn't bother him, which made me even more upset. I think I really wanted French Toast and all of the syrup bottles were empty. At some point in the dream I also had no clothes on, which freaked me out even more.
So I set out on my own, apparently with some clothing now, and had to walk back to our hotel, which was in New Orleans but the landscape didn't look at all like New Orleans for some reason. We were staying at a big fancy Holiday Inn right by a freeway overpass. After walking for some time, I managed to get on a bus that was going that way, though I only had a handful of change with me to pay. I saw the hotel approaching and someone reached up to pull the bell for the stop, but it didn't make any noise, so I pulled it too, and again it was silent. I asked the bus driver, Mel Gibson, if we could stop there and he said 'Oh no, that would be much too expensive' and so the bus kept going and went way past the hotel before I could finally get off, in an area that actually did resemble old New Orleans.
I made it back to the hotel eventually, and was upset to find that my husband, who was now Angel, was not there. I found out he had become obsessed with playing a really involved arcade game and was spending hundreds of dollars on it, but he couldn't stop playing for some reason. At this point I realized I was a vampire also, and went back to the vampire lair to look for him, where all sorts of young people, poseurs and real vampires were hanging out (sort of ala Underworld), and one of the young poseurs kept acting like he knew Angel but he didn't have any clue who I was, and kept holding out his fist, which was covered with small cuts across the knuckles and saying 'These are Angel's rings' and I kept thinking, no, Angel's rings were silver, and finally confronted him on it. But he kept bragging and I finally blew him off as nuts. I went through Angel's desk and found a receipt for like $800 for this arcade game, which he had apparently also won a bunch of things by playing, and I tried to figure out some reason he was doing this.
Me and some others went looking for Angel, in the daytime, in an RV driven by Wilfred Brimley. Somehow we were immune enough to sunlight that we could tolerate little bits of it. He drove us all over town and through an alley way so narrow he had to fold in the mirrors on the RV, and we finally found Angel, who seemed very confused and embarrassed by what he had been doing, so I figured he'd been under some sort of spell and could not find it in my heart to be angry with him, though he didn't apologize exactly. I had to drive us back to the hotel in the RV, which I managed very well. When we arrived we were going to take the stairway up to our room, when I realized I could fly as a spirit up the stairs so we did that. For some reason I've never been good at flying in my dreams, so it felt really clunky.
Angel was very humble and loving when we got back to our room and I didn't bring up the subject of why he'd been missing or what he'd been doing, we just made up without speaking about it.
Meanwhile, back at the vampire lair, the young braggart was also going through Angel's desk and found a note about his 'great secret' which turned out to be the demonic arcade game, which was waiting for another victim to find it...
I think we then checked out of the hotel and everything was cool, though again it was daytime which concerned me, though I think we had a big black limo waiting for us just outside and could make it that far safely.
Dream Sources - I was reading Charlaine Harris's Living Dead in Dallas before bed (her heroine stalked off down a dark road after a fight with her vampire boyfriend); Sparky just taped another episode of 'Angel' last night, we're like the whole season behind in watching them (very sad this may be the last season); On Conan O'Brien last night Dubya made a joke about his mom looking like Wilfred Brimley; I saw a guy on The Daily Show driving an RV; the Mel Gibson reference is easy; I've been feeling very poor lately because I had to shell out my half of $800 for a new version of Adobe Creative Suite (whoa, that's wshere the $800 amount came from also I guess); and day before yesterday was Mardi Gras and I was thinking about my friend who lives in NOLA. The ring thing might have been because of a recent episode of the Osbourne's I just watched where Ozzy lost a quarter million dollar ring.
I have been having even more weird dreams lately than usual, which is sort of scary because I'm a really vivid dreamer. I think a lot of it is the medicine I've been taking, but last night I watched the last half of 10 to Midnight right before bed, so that's an easy one to peg, especially since I've actually had an annoying (but thankfully not homicidal, naked and covered in blood) internet stalker on and off the last few months. But unlike Charles Bronson's daughter in the movie, I have at least one, usually two, large caliber firearms within reach most of the time. But not in my dreams, though, the damn things always misfire.
Last night I dreamed I came home with my parents (who I still live with in a lot of my dreams) and was the first one to notice that the house had been broken into. (This actually sort of happened before in real life, I was visiting my parents one Christmas and as we were pulling into the driveway I looked over and saw our neighbor's front door had been kicked in) My mother and I were walking around the house and we walked out into the garage, where my car looked strange and as we walked up on it, I saw two gang types working on stripping it, but for some reason they didn't see us. So we hustled back into the house. (I also went to the grocery store late last night and there were much scarier than normal thugs there buying beer at like 11:30, not their normal clientele)
A lot of the dream has faded now, but it involved me defending the house from the thugs who kept harassing us for some reason, with me actually sitting in the window of our house which was on the corner for some reason, and watching the street in both directions and calling the police whenever I saw them hanging around. And as usual, I couldn't secure the house properly, there is always a door that won't close all the way, had a broken lock, etc. I have this deep-seated vulnerability issue that comes from several areas. Mainly I think from having a bathroom door that didn't lock properly growing up, and partially from years of trying to keep two large dogs in the yard without proper fencing. I grew up with 6' wood fences and rented several houses that had short chain link fences and one that we actually had to build a temporary fence for. And both dogs got out of the yard several times, which only reinforced my phobia. But no house can ever be secured properly in my dreams, there's always a gaping hole or broken lock.
The feud between me and the thugs got really personal, one of them resembled one of the scary guys I'd seen in the store that night. For some reason, my mother had a lot of really valuable clothes and things at the house, and she pulled out a pair of Prada shoes, which were very tiny, almost like a baby would wear, and I told here those must be horribly uncomfortable, and she said they were the most confortable shoes she had. (I'm selling a Prada eye cream sample on eBay this week so that must be floating around in my subconscious).
I think my old Corvette was back to haunt me in the dream and I was driving it up and down the street looking for the guys, and worrying that they would damage my car, which for some reason could also not be safely secured.
When Sparky woke me this afternoon, it took me a good 20 minutes before I could really wake up enough to even get out of bed, I was way down in REM state. Sometimes I wake up like a shot and am wide awake, but not today.
The other night I had anther recurring dream, where I was having to stay with a group of people and use their weird community bathrooms and showers. I don't travel well to start with and hate toting my toiletries around with me, but for some reason all the showers had strange problems. No doors, a toilet in the middle of the actual shower. A lot of times the bathtubs will actually look really nice and then I'll discover it's only a display and isn't hooked up to running water. A big recurring dream is not being able to find a toilet that works or is usable, but that just means I really need to wake up and pee, so I'm guessing it's a good thing that I can't find a toilet. I've had that dream for as long as I can remember, probably because I despise getting up when I'm in bed....
What's bugging me right now...
Broke my right thumbnail by smacking it into the towel rack earlier this week, I'm really freaky about fingernail stuff. It's amazing what you CAN'T do with no right thumbnail to speak of...
Phoebe threw up in my desk chair the other day so like an idiot I sprayed Febreze in it to get the smell out. My question now is, how do I get the Febreze smell out? I'm really sensitive to smells and it smells like a fabric softener sheet and is really making me queasy. Plus it gets on my clothes since I'm sitting on it. Bleccchh...
As previously mentioned, I've had the same dull headache (only interrupted by a few short piercing migraines) for several weeks straight now. I was blaming it on the weather, but it hasn't rained much this week, so I dunno. I'm afraid I'm getting addicted to codeine because of it. My new pharmacist filled my normal prescription with 100 pills instead of 30 because the resident who wrote my prescription out as "enough for 30 days", which I'm not complaining about, but it's a little too tempting.
Been literally working my ass off on eBay with lots of sales with what seem to be proportionately little profits for the amount of labor involved. Aso eBay raised their listing fees this month which doesn't help, and I've been using gallery pics on almost every auction which adds up quickly. It's nearly impossible to sell things without it now, though.
I've been trying to cut back on my cat figurine collecting, I'm running out of shelf space and I'm getting too picky now for my pocketbook. Got a great collection, though. Had to put them out of the way of Phoebe, though, she thinks they're toys to be batted to the floor.
Food hasn't been particularly appealing lately and I haven't felt much like cooking it, much to Sparky's dismay. Had lots of salads and pasta, easy stuff. It sucks when you walk into a grocery store and nothing looks appetizing especially when you really are hungry. Been buying too much sweet stuff to compensate, but I don't feel like eating it. I raised my caffeine level to the point where my left eye was twitching, it took me like a week to figure out that was what was causing it, because it didn't take much. I need to get off carbs again, I feel so much better when I am, but I'm not a big veggie person and you can only eat so much meat. I ate junk food all night at the party, someone brought Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies, yikes, another hurdle to dodge when I go out for the next month or so. I used to have to sell the damn things so I'm especially vulnerable.
And I'm in that "any second now" period for my PMS (the "come on, get it over with damn it" feeling), and after eating chips and cookies all night I feel like I'm going to explode, gag. Too much salt probably.
Lots of Mac struggles lately, that's an entry by itself, though. And don't get me started on the Democratic primaries... I'm glad we have some hope to save the world from imminent destruction, but I don't like the way we're picking candidates out of desperation and the lovely media polls. I think at this point they could compare a tree stump and Dubya and the tree stum would be ten points ahead (sigh). I hate polls, and the babbling hypothesizing media in general.
Lots of skin allergies the last few weeks, been itching my hands and legs raw. I've been doing pretty good except for this new flareup, but it still annoys me. I never had hives in my life until about 8 years ago when two medicines my doctor gave me collided in my system and I've been fighting them ever since, even Tylenol gives me hives now.
On the plus side, though, I actually had a good hair day today, and two people said I looked like I've lost weight :-)
Damn, I haven't written anything for over two weeks, sorry about that... Been too busy, too depressed, had the same headache for about that length of time, etc., etc. The kitty's been very demanding of my time (she's become very vocal when she's not getting enough playtime in). She's sitting and staring at me right now...
We had a group of friends get together for a movie tonight and the grand finale was watching the last half of Rocky Horror on Bravo. Everyone was all over the audience participation comments, some of my younger friends had some lines I'd never heard. I haven't felt so "in" in years. And like clockwork, everyone decided to leave as soon as the floorshow was over. The funniest part was everyone chiming in as loud as possible after Rocky's first line in the floor show, that comment has apparently stayed the same over the years ;-)
I like this week's questions, easy and still somewhat thoughtful:
When was the last time you...
1. ...went to the doctor? I actually know that one, it was mid December. I'm due for my annual checkup, though, just one more month of BC pills left.
2. ...went to the dentist? Oww, I'm way overdue and have the discomfort to prove it. (And the codeine) It was over two years ago when I went in and used up my last bit of dental insurance and in that time I've ruined several more crowns and have some really rough areas in my molars. It ain't gonna be pretty this time, but I have genetically bad teeth, I never get out with just a cleaning.
3. ...filled your gas tank? About two weeks, just looked at it the other day, it's still about half full. The weather's been really crappy here lately (rainy and cold) so I haven't really gone anywhere to speak of. One of the perks of working at home...
4. ...got enough sleep? I rarely get enough sleep even when I stay in bed till mid afternoon (I don't sleep well even with copius amounts of meds), but day before yesterday I actually felt like I had gotten a good night's for the first time in ages. Some strange fluke I guess.
5. ...backed up your computer? That's been at the top of my list the last few days since getting some new software. My hard drive is 40 gig and my external is 80 so I can't actually back it up properly, but I need to dump a lot of stuff onto disks to make some room, I'm down to less than a gig on both of them. I saw a cool external hard drive the other day in MacZone that's 160 gig for like $250, but I'm out of Firewire jacks and I have USB 1, so I'm not sure where I'd plug it in.
OK, I look up my weblog in Google and here's what they have currently:
That's not very good... So I'm wondering, did I not put any Meta Tags in my home page when I guild this thing last year? Go and check... yes, I have a very nice description and a bunch of relavent keywords. I'm still not very good with the mechanics of XHTML, etc., still. I look at people's websites and blogs with three columns and all the bells and whistles, microscopic type, and I wish I had that much control over the appearance of my site (sigh).
I have GoLive and I'm still re-learning the new version of it, every time I seem to get proficient at an HTML program they go in and redesign the whole thing. I'm still learning Cascading Style Sheets (I know, it's sad). I have many expensive books on website design and I never seem to have time to even glance at them until I need something desperately. My own main website has been under "new construction" for like a year now with a new design sitting on my hard drive but not uploaded... Lately it seems all I do is sell and buy things on eBay, I think my OCD is out of control. I've been buying little glass kitties, getting a really nice collection, lots of Siamese, Burmese figurines are almost impossible to find. However I had to move most of them off my desk because my own kitty thinks they're toys to bat around. Not that they're safe on my bookshelves from the incredible jumping cat, but perhaps out of sight, out of mind...
Late as usual, been sick with a sinus infection all week making me dizzy. And the on and off rain and constant temperature changes have had me popping codeine all week (not to much avail, unfortunately).
OK, the questions for last Friday are -
You have just won one million dollars:
1. Who do you call first? Since both my husband and I work at home, chances are he'd already know... After him, my parents, then my best friend.
2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself? A brand new car!
3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else? A new car for my hubby, ours are both antiques.
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom? Yes, to animal charities and the women's shelter.
5. Do you invest any? If so, how? I know little to nothing about investing, real estate is probably the best investment here in Houston but I don't know that I'd want to deal with anything that complicated (or expensive). I'd probably just set up the balance (left after my mammoth shopping spree) in an account that would collect interest and live off of that and relax. Unfortunately in today's world, a million dollars isn't what it used to be :-(