You know it's been too long since you've written when you have to look up your login information to your own blog (sigh).
I think I know where I went astray, there was a non-stop chain of events that began back in April & May... Mostly over health scares for my uber-healthy husband, followed by lots of visits to the doctors, new medicines to be started by both of us, a colonoscopy for my husband (all clear!), and much drama all around. And I was typing a daily offline diary trying to follow any side effects and problems with the new meds, so that was a distraction. I had some very bad reactions to several of the new prescriptions I was given (Lunesta & Lipitor), so that actually came in very useful.
Also around April my best friend began taking bellydancing classes (in another state, unfortunately) to lose some of her new mommy weight and the idea appealed to me also and I got hooked. No live classes but lots of research, music downloading, and intructional DVD purchasing. And some of the other accessories, but that's a whole new thread to be started. But I have lost some weight and have gotten much better abs, plus it's helped my asthma and my digestive problems. So that has been occupying a lot of my time.
Ebay has been as busy as usual, in the late summer it suddenly got much harder to actually make a profit, and get everyone to pay me. The whole world is broke also apparently.
But a fellow Halloween fan (and fellow bodybuilding fan) has written me some very nice emails, and I've been venting at him about how awful the world is and how sometimes it's actually a good thing to have a healthy obsession to keep from losing your mind. I think I've been keeping too much in my head, thinking I don't have the time to blog, too much work to do, too far behind on other projects, but I need to type something other than Ebay descriptions apparently, because lots came spilling out. And I've noticed the last few weeks that my stomach has been acting up more than usual, so I'm a little concerned that I've been keeping too much pushed down in my brain and it's trying to come out through my esophagus (yuck). My dad had ulcers from his stress, I'm a lot like him that way.
The world is so broken now, I don't know where to begin, so I actually started another webpage just for the bellydancing hobby. It's not finished yet, but it has provided a pleasant distraction and a place to put some of the tons of info I've dug up about everything from the music to the costumes. And an outlet for my OCD, but at least I'm learning something new, and improving my health. I've been driving my husband nuts with the music, but it's very therapeutic to me in the same way that jazz music calms me down and improves my coordination.
And with Halloween coming, I've committed myself to re-learning to sew (the big obstacle is my constantly changing vision). I've gone as far as buying a dress form (they were half off at Joann's!) and have built it up to match me as close as possible (good instructionals here and here on how to do this), so now I have a lifesized blue version of myself standing in the front room (much to the shock of my husband, he who bans kitty towers from the house because 'they're tacky'), but I feel like I can actually make a blouse that fits, and perhaps I'll stop buying black tee shirts. And I've bought a half dozen patterns and some new fabric so we'll see what happens. At the very least I should have a better Halloween costume than usual :-)
When I went across town last week to pick up my taxes, I stopped at Memorial City mall ('the nice mall') on the way back. And I spent hours walking the whole mall doing the What Not To Wear thing - looking at as many stores as possible, trying things on that I wouldn't normally... Unfortunately, spring is not my favorite shopping season. I don't wear tank tops, shorts, sandals, and swim suits. I'm always happy when the fall clothing starts coming out, even though it's warm here most of the year, but I'm mostly an indoor person anyway. But after an afternoon of trying to find something to wear that looked decent, I can sympathize with the WNTW girls that only end up with a pair of shoes on day one.
Having worked in retail for half my life, I saw all the current trends repeating in every store I went in, it really got pretty boring after awhile. Embellished tees, frilly peasant skirts, lacy Victorian cap-sleeved blouses, lots of lace trim everywhere, tunics (which I like but not with all the damned beads all over them), empire seams (can't wear them), bold black & white outfits. Jeans with holes rubbed into them (why is this style back again?), thin, cheaply made printed tees that look like they've been washed too many times (and shrank down to nothing).
I was actually looking for some interesting tees, I like some of the tie dye patterned ones that are popular now, I bought a black and a brown one (but no sequins!), and I even bought a store brand knock off tee that had a nice ivory, grey and black print of Times Square and Broadway on it. It had little sequins and beads all over the front, which I carefully took off with a seam ripper. I got one good wearing out of the shirt, and then I stupidly put it in the dryer and it shrank like three inches in length (sigh). Why don't things ever shrink from side to side, that's what I was aiming for because it was a little baggy. Now it's too short, and still baggy, which is not a good look on short, large-chested girls ("when's your baby due?"). If anyone asks me that, I will never wear that shirt again.
So after wearing myself out walking all over this enormous mall, all I found was a black velvet gothic Halloween costume top at Torrid. It was on clearance or I wouldn't have bought it. My first mall stop had actually been at Sephora, because I need some more face cream, I think my Clarins lotion has gone rancid, it has a strange chemical smell to it and I'm very paranoid about anything I put on my face because of my Rosacea, which has been getting bad again. I thought about getting some more Clinique CX Redness Relief face cream, but I used it and the Rapid Recovery Serum earlier this yeat and didn't really notice any improvement. I do like the RR Serum, but for $75 a bottle, I decided I ought to try something else. And besides, no stores in the mall carry the CX line, it's a Neiman's/Saks exclusive type thing still.
So I stood around in Sephora, smearing various things on my face to the point where I couldn't tell what was working and what wasn't anymore. I looked for my Christian Dior NoAge fluid that I used to really like (a really mild skin resurfacer), it's been discontinued. I think I tried every redness relief cream they had - DDF, MD Formulations, Dr. Brandt, Cosmedicine, B. Kamins Booster Blue (which actually stained my hand blue for like half an hour), etc. - and I finally out of frustration settled on Murad's Correcting SPF 15 Moisturizer because I could actually feel it cooling my face a bit, and it had a green neutralizing tint, and for a try-me product it only cost $34. I was also so burned out from trying things and the salespeople in Sephora always sort of creep me out. Even when you buy something they treat you weird. Just for grins I also sampled some of the famed Hylexin eye cream for 'serious dark circles', because I wanted to see if I had an allergic reaction to it and if it did anything at all (not). I just put it on one eye as a test and I didn't really notice any difference in appearance, though I did have a bit of itching later in the day.
By the time I had walked all the way around the mall, I was exhausted and it was late, and I grabbed a Starbucks Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino (I don't like coffee but somehow I've gotten addicted to them) on the way back to Foley's and my car and ended up wandering through Foley's sipping my drink, looking at clothing and meandered over to the lingerie section. After spending hours trying on clothes and being very unhappy with the results, I decided I should try and buy a new bra. (And lose about 30 pounds) I rarely (on Halloween maybe) wear bras, they're uncomfortable, they hurt, and it's fricking hot in Houston. Years ago I had found a Bali bra without an underwire (the Double Support style) that I considered semi-wearable, but I realized it was also too small, and probably was when I had bought it, so I decided to try the next band size up.
Never go bra shopping when you're really tired. It's hard enough when you're fresh, it's sort of like shopping for shoes if you don't really know what size you are or what style you like, it's very overwhelming and can make you very dizzy. And it's been a long time since I've wandered into that department, I usually just stop at panties, and for some reason all of the new bras look like some sort of movie prosthetic devices, vacuum molded out of foam. Speaking of trends, I guess Victoria's Secret styling has rubbed off on the other manufacturers.
If I have to wear a bra, I refuse to wear an underwire, my ribs are very prominent and bruise easily, so I ended up back in the Bali section looking at the same bras I already owned. Oh well, whatever. The last one I bought I They were on sale for buy two get one free (mail in rebate?) but they only had two in that size and I was really tired by this time.
When I got home I had this nagging suspicion that something wasn't right, and when I was cutting the tags off of the first bra I saw the measuring instructions (see the next entry on the subsequent shopping spree)... and realized I had probably bought the wrong size and whipped out my measuring tape. I was either a 40D or possibly a 40C (wouldn't that be nice!). So maybe bra bands don't have to hurt, I'd just been buying the damned things too small for my big ribcage. So back in the bag they went, I'd try again next week, there's literally a sale every week...
And after a few days of using it, I really liked the Murad moisturizer, I've never used Murad products before but I know they have a good reputation with sensitive skin. I read the little brochure that came in the box, then looked them up at Sephora.com and realized there is also a Redness Therapy Gel (Recovery Treatment Gel) that I hadn't seen at the store or I would have bought it (don't want to use an SPF at night), so I decided to just go ahead and order it online, along with the Redness Therapy Soothing Gel Cleanser . I'm a skin care product junkie because my skin is so freaky. I've used Clarins sensitive skin care line for years, with some other brands thrown in-between, but my skin is not actually very dry so I think it will be nice to try something a little lighter for a change. And the price is certainly right so we'll see.
Last night was going along quite well until I got out of the shower and noticed that my vision was even stranger than usual... there were shimmering lights everywhere, growing brighter as I watched.
Hmmm... is it my eyes or my brain? Close one eye... flashing away. Close the other eye... yep still there. Must be migraine time. Nothing hurts yet, damn Sparky wants his dinner soon, guess it will be delivery tonight after all. I tend to get migraines during that wonderful PMS time, which I'm sort of in now because I've been screwing around with my birth control pills (didn't want to have headaches during my road trip or the week after with my dad having surgery). I'd take them non-stop, but the doctor bitches about it and I don't want to run out before my 12 months are up. I only go 3 or 4 days off anyway, nothing happens except the damn migraines (I seem to have reached perimenopause).
Luckily I have a large supply of Maxalt tablets, Merck will send them to you free if you don't have insurance and are poor enough, bless their black little pharmaceutical giant hearts. They cost about $16 a pill, so that's one less thing to worry about. I also get my Singulair from them, which retails around $100 a bottle, so two less things. I wish the Ambien people has a patient assistance program (can't sleep... clown will eat me...), that's my only other hovering around $100 a month prescription.
So I took a pill and lay down on the bed till dinner came (Chinese, isn't that a brilliant choice with a migraine!) watching the as the lights went from SpiroGraph frenetics to a tolerable pulsing. The Maxalt makes you kind of woozy by iteslef, and I don't usually even take one till I've been in pain for a day or so already, but the aura or halo lights really freak me out. I've had migraines for years, but this is only like the fourth time I've had the aura warning. Last time was after getting out of the shower also...
So it was sort of a forcibly calm evening for me. I do now believe the vision problem in my right eye (varying degrees of double vision and presbyopia) really is neurological (MS, optic neuritis related) and not as much actually a physical problem (from RK surgery in the 80's to correct my vision) because my vision got noticeably clearer after taking the Maxalt. Still not real good, but not a complete blur like it's been doing lately.
No headache by bedtime. I was going to go over to my parents to help my dad out with his spinal implant remote control (that was the afore-mentioned surgery, more on that to come) today but when I called at 1:30 (had to set an alarm to wake up that early) to see if the rep was still coming at 2:00, my mom told me she was already there, came early, and was almost finished. I lay there a few minutes accessing my situation, felt a pain behind my left eye and decided since I could go back to sleep for a few more hours I may as well take another Maxalt to knock out round two of the migraine.
Several groggy hours later I finally got up, and have been having another quiet evening. Actually made Sparky his spaghetti tonight (I need to go grocery shopping, dammit). I had one of my weird concotions - cranberry chicken salad from Sam's Club, with spring salad mix, strawberries, raspberries and walnuts wrapped in a flour tortilla. I've been on an "everything tastes better in a tortilla" craze lately, I even put my chinese food in there last night (I'm not a big rice fan).
It's time to take another shower before bed and now I have a slight throbbing beginning behind my right eye, hopefully I'll sleep decent tonight and wake up feeling better tomorrow. I don't really want to spend another day in woozy druggy land. I haven't been sleeping worth a damn the last few days, most likely also a hormonal problem. Can we just bring on the menopause and get this whole thing over with? I think the perimenopause thing has been going on about four or five years now. Oh well, I think I'll go test the hot shower theory again now. Vision's still pretty good, maybe I can read for a few minutes before bed too.
As a public service (and because I just finished eating some and my taste buds are still all wired), I wanted to make sure people outside of Texas knew about the weird yet incredibly addictive party snack that's been at almost every party I've gone to in the last few years, including those held at my house. If you put a plate of this out people will not be able to stop eating it, if nothing else it's a neat little experiment just to watch your friends reactions.
A company called Fischer & Wieser in a small town in the Texas Hill Country (which is the prettiest part of the state) came up with something called the Original Roasted Raspberry Chipotle Sauce in the 1990's and if you pour some over a few blocks of cream cheese, you've got heaven on a cracker. It's an odd looking party food, and people will look at you funny and ask "what the hell is it", but give them some Wheat Thins or Triscuits and once they've tried it they literally won't be able to stop eating it.
I know I can't, it can get sort of embarrassing even, especially if you drip any on your shirt. And I don't (and can't) normally eat anything that's all all spicy, but somehow this sauce and the cream cheese manage to hit all of your taste buds at once - sweet, spicy, smokey, tart and creamy all at the same time.
I had half a bottle left over after our party and just made myself a little snack with some whipped cream cheese and crackers (which I purposely bought in hopes of having leftovers) and my sinuses are nice and cleared out now.
The "can't stop eating till I look stupid" predecessor of this party snack was the Grape Jelly and Meatballs appetizer, another weird sounding but super addictive food. I really think both of these are sort of Southern recipes, so I wanted to share them. Locally I buy the raspberry sauce at Randall's / Safeway and Whole Foods (it's considered a gourmet item), but you can order it online at the companies website also. Someone told me there are knockoff brands made, but I'll pay the extra buck or two and get the good stuff, personally.
I've been on a "buying things I need" shopping spree the last couple of week alsos. Then, after I'd finished, of course, eBay demanded I pay them their $350 worth of fees for last month two weeks early (or they wouldn't let me list anything new) so that threw me for a loop. Well, crap, I had hoped to go to the Houston Postcard & Paper Show this weekend, but I guess that's out now. They're in a beautiful new convention center just a few miles from my house now. But we have our Halloween party coming up next weekend and I haven't planned the food, music or what I'm going to wear yet.
But I've been stocking up on all of my shipping supplies, ordering boxes, bubble wrap and mailers for the holiday eBay rush. And buying toner, a new Dayrunner calendar, new pretty colored file folders and a little Brother P-Touch to make nice new labels (PT-1180). (My handwriting is completely illegible) I always wanted one of those, though I think the one I got is probably too small for anything but file folders (it was less than $30 at Sam's Club, though, and came with two refill cartridges). Redoing my files is going to be one of my "leisure" activities, I actually like to sort and file things, I had even considered becoming a professional organizer once, but I think avoiding obsessive activities is probably better for my health. One of the reasons I quite my first job as a library assistant was I got all obsessed with the books, I think I checked out as many as I put away. And it drove me nuts when people would put things back in the wrong place.
And with the Halloween party coming up, Sparky gets to do his semi-annual cleaning of his bathtub, so I got new shower curtains for us both. He refers to his tub as the "Shroud of Turin" because for some reason the master bathroom gets some really heavy duty staining as compared to (my) hall bathroom. And his curtain started off as clear but is now sort of a yucky beige color. So I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond armed with the coupons they send me weekly and found a nice clear patterned one for him, but could not find my usual pretty frosted one I usually get for me. I don't see it on their site either, but it had little clear prisms that caught the light prettily. So I decided to get a black striped vinyl curtain and I think I like it even better. It looks very modern and the black looks sharp with the 1950's powder pink tile, especially with the sleek little silver roller rings I already had.
In the same trip I also got a Fossil watch and an engraved antique white gold wedding band (both bought on eBay months ago) sized at our neighborhood jewelers, who kind of hate to see me coming because I can never seem to get my watch bands just exactly how I like them. I think I may have gotten this one a bit tight, but winter's coming soon. We've had out first semi cold front (down to the 50's - ooh!), but it only lasted a few days. Then I took the $10 off coupon I'd earned to the Beauty First next door to BB&B, and they were having a "buy one get the next half off sale", so I bought even more hair care stuff, and got a Matrix shampoo, conditioner and a Chi heat styling spray for like $13 total, yippee! (Just what I need, more hair products, when I'm unhappy with my hair I change products in hope of making it look better. Lately it's been really misbehaving and curling because it's too short :-(
By then it was Sparky's dinner time so I ran by OfficeMax and used another $10 off coupon I had to get an black ink cartridge for my dying Epson printer (it has a short and turns itself on and off, which is both annoying and alarming). And I actually remembered to bring my old cartridge and got my free ream of paper too. And I also spent like $200 on postage this week, I had like 60 auctions close this weekend. So it's been a damn expensive week, I hope my sales keep up, Sparky has been bugging me to go get groceries again...
Well, damn my computer just froze as I was adding on to my want list, so I'm retyping this all again and then going to bed, someone's trying to tell me something... But on the theory that what I put into print comes true, my other big want is an electric piano. (No, I don't play, I've always wanted to learn badly) It all began when we went into Radio Shack to get something for Sparky and, being bored, I wandered over and played with an electric piano they had on display. When I was a teenager my parents gave me an electric organ, which I have no idea what happened to, but needless to say, it was uninspiring and felt and sounded like a toy. I had no idea portable pianos now sound as good as and even better than the real gigantic thing (and never need tuning!). So that started my obsession earlier this summer. And since then I've been researching and studying and even doing finger exercises. I've always been a closet piano junkie, but never got to take lessons. I did guitar instead, and never did well at it. I also have always wanted to play drums. But a guitar was more practical in my parent's opinion. And it was the 70's and guitars were "cool". But I completely sucked at playing them. I've always been more of a percussion person anyway.
So I read and researched and even went to the local music store where I got the $5000 standup sales pitch and was told that Yamaha pianos were junk, which actually made me want one more, damn old fart salesman (he was pushing Rolands). My initial choice was a Yamaha 88 key electric piano, which I've been able to play with regularly at Best Buy and Sam's while Sparky did his DVD and big screen TV shopping. It's really a gorgeous sounding thing, with weighted keys, lots of voices and bells and whistles. But I soon realized it's WAY too big for the area I want to use it in, and then began thinking perhaps a synthesizer/arranger keyboard would probably be more fun and I could hook it up to my computer (and it would fit on my desk). So I've chosen a mid-priced 61 key Yamaha synthesizer (which costs twice what the piano cost) and have been yearning after it. It's basically going to be my birthday gift to myself this year, but I don't want to wait till January. For one thing the one I picked is last year's model and is in limited supply now, this year's model is also great but it's $500 more. But with my current computer mutiny (and my promise to never open another credit account ;-) I'm trying to restrain myself from wishing out loud too much. So we'll see if my "putting it into writing" theory works, hey, it got me a car ;-)
I messed up on my dinner plans, I thought we would be eating with my parents Sunday night instead of our regular Chinese delivery, but my mother had a stomach virus. So when my husband asked what was for dinner tonight, I blanked out and gave him my backup emergency dinner plan - spaghetti and meatballs. Which I don't eat, but it makes him very happy.
So he got out the big 8 quart pot, filled it half full of water, started the burner, and even got the meatballs out of the freezer. Then it hits me - we don't have any pasta sauce, I used the last jar a few days ago. And I don't have any spaghetti... crap. I've got meatballs and water, not good enough.
So off we went to IHOP, where the waitresses have our orders memorized. We each took our own cars, I'll shop for real groceries after dinner. We also have our favorite boothes, which we always scope out when we walk in to see which one will be the quietest. Booth to the right - screaming kid. On the left - more screaming kids. The smoking area is quiet, but the sun is blasting in the windows, and, well, it's the smoking area. OK, to the right but back near the kitchen, it shouldn't be that bad two boothes away...
Jesus H Christ! We had completely deaf parents on both sides of us and several toddlers competing to see which one could scream the loudest. My back was to them, which actually made me sort of nervous but was probably a good idea because I have trouble "pretending to ignore" ear-splitting children. Besides being annoying, they cause me actual physical pain, I visually wince when they make that "Memorex" noise (that can shatter crystal?). Finally one of the families finished eating, then went out into the lobby where their kids just went frigging bonkers screaming and running around, bouncing off the windows. Whee!!! more sugar!! After about 3 or 4 more minutes of daycare run amok they went out and got in their minivan and drove away.
OK, just one kid left, maybe he'll be quieter while I finish my french toast and bacon. No, he actually got louder, yelling repeatedely at his mother and (I think) older sister, "Read me a story! Read ME A STORY!!". Then he somehow got out of the booth and starts running up and down the aisle, spewing toddler germs into the air hacking and coughing like an old man. On about his third run-by our booth I finally said "GO AWAY!" which he actually did. I don't care if anyone thought I was rude, I say:
As we were finishing up our dinner, Damien the demon toddler and his family left, and my husband looked at me and said "I'm so glad you didn't want kids!'. Likewise, in my 20's all I found were men who wanted "big families". I'm missing that mommy gene, always knew it, I never even did babysitting. I'm totally clueless and quite content to remain that way.
So off I went, in my nice clean, perfect car and bought hundreds of bucks worth of groceries for me, my husband and my cat (who was crying at the door when I got home).
Well I just couldn't stand it anymore last night and colored my hair black again. It was a weird combination of black ends, red in the middle, and my own yucky brown (and gray) on top. I did use a bit of restraint, though, and used a semi-permanent color for a change. It was also so long it was starting to do the curling up thing all over, since it's layered, and I also broke down and made an appointment to get it cut. I went in today and got it done, though I think both the stylist and I got carried away and cut it actually TOO short.
I had brought in a photo from the last cut, which was damn near perfect IMHO, and he tried to work from that but for some reason he just couldn't seem to get it. I'd been good and left my bangs alone, so I thought he should be able to just go in and trim the layers and voila - but apparently not. My husband freaked out when I got home, he said I looked like David Cassidy (I could do worse, he had gorgeous hair), and now he's afraid I'm going to want to keep it short short from now on. No way with the winter coming, my neck and ears get way too cold. But it is really fabulous to be able to wash & dry it so quickly without having to detangle the whole mess. And it's so damn hot here in the summer, I never wear it down when the temperature is over 80 degrees (i.e. March through October).
The last cut grew out so nicely I figured I'd get it done again before fall, my hair is thin but it grows really fast, so by Halloween I should be back to shoulder length at least. The last haircut had a bit more swing and body to it, I'm afraid this one really is a little too severe. But Sparky doesn't understand what it's like to go through your entire life with long, tangly, wavy hair that the best you can do with it is keep it pulled back. At least with the shorter hair I can walk outside for five minutes without my hair going berserk in the least little wind [sigh].
But I'm much happier with the color, I haven't used semi-perm in ages, I might start again because it's so much easier and quicker than permanent color (and it doesn't reek). Plus if I can get the exact color I want for $5 or $6 I'd rather keep doing that than plunk down $55 for something I'm not happy with. The damn haircut is $45 plus tip by itself. And when I got home today I checked the account I charged it on and they had charged me $54 even though the receipt had $45 on it. I'm guessing he gave himself a 20% tip. The "rules" say you should tip about 15%, but I handed him $5 in cash which seemed adequate for 45 minutes of his time since all he did was trim, I didn't even need a shampoo. And he waited on several other people while I sat there with wet hair twiddling my thumbs. I had meant to stop at an ATM on the way so I could pay the whole thing in cash, but I got caught in the school zone traffic jams. But I've called the salon and left a message and we'll see if the $9 pops back up on my account tomorrow. If it doesn't, I'm going to call the owner, I've spoken with her several times and she seems pretty down to earth.
(Pictures to come, I may wait till I shampoo it again first, it's very flat now and a little too boyish even for me)
I often am not sure who I am. Online and in person. I've been married twice but never changed my name though the Social Security department so legally I've only actually had one name. But I've had bank accounts with three (actually four counting my business checking) names, driver's licenses with two names, my health insurance is in my married name, but my homeowner's and car insurance are in my maiden name still. So when people ask me my name, I'm sometimes not sure how to respond.
I also have a long first name and go by the diminutive, though I have always called my brother by his full name. Just to add to the confusion, my father goes by his middle name, which is also my brother's middle name. My husband also goes by his middle name. But with banks and ATM cards, etc., I use my full name. I don't really like my full name, but my middle name is very plain so I don't use it. Though when I was in trouble my dad would call me by both names (gulp). Or when I wasn't, he would often use the diminutive of BOTH names.
I have a confusing last name but I'm hesitant to give it up. It only has two syllables but has a lot of consonants in it, including an X, which for some reason blows people's minds and renders them unable to pronounce it without making it into three syllables. My husband's name only has one syllable, which seems easy enough, but it's plural and people tend to drop the S at the end. You should see the odd assortment of free labels I get in the mail. One actually had my husband's first name and my last name, which I still haven't figured out.
My husband has begun leaning on to me to legally change my name to his, even though I do go by it in most situations. I'm hesitant to lose it, though. I'm also not really fond of hyphenating it, which is what I did last time on my driver's license. It would be confusing for things like my medical and pharmacy records, which have been switched over to my married name in the last few years since we no longer have insurance through my last job. The doctor's office has enough trouble locating my records without giving them a different letter to file them under.
I tried to change my name this time on my TDL and the new rule is you have to go through Social Security first now. I think when I do go into the SS office, I'm just going to have them add my married name to the end of my name, with no hyphen, but I want to keep my maiden name in the fray also.
I began working at my last away from home job when I was married to my first husband. I had also worked at the company before I was married, as had my brother, and my dad had recently retired after 20+ years as an executive, so our family name was well known and loved. Everyone that had been there for more than about five years knew my dad, he was one of the good people, who had been there in the days before the mergers, layoffs and imported out-of-state executives. The tenured folks all knew him as a nice man who was also very fair and competent. Plus his name was on their checks for years. Since I had never changed my name through Social Security, I had to go to work under my maiden name. And that was fine with me, actually. Then I divorced, and transferred back to Houston and went to work at the corporate offices where my dad had worked and everyone knew me. And my husband waited seven years to propose, so I had almost 15 years of working under the same name and didn't really think about changing it while I was there.
I'm not having kids, and it's unlikely my brother will be either, so we're literally the last of our family name. It's very obscure nationwide, and I'm told it was Americanized upon immigrating from Ireland, and from what I've researched, it's also scarce overseas. The story is the boat sank on the way over, so many of our ancestors didn't make it across the ocean. My brother and I are adopted, but still, I used to actually have my name on my license plate out of pride. (Wouldn't do it now, though)
My husband is also the last of his line. His sister had two daughters, but they go by their father's name. My husband's middle name is actually his mother's family's last name, just to add to the confusion. But that line has continued on.
I have a business DBA. And for even more confusion, on the internet I really lose track of who I am. I have mine and my husband's names for eBay, several domains that I receive mail through, Yahoo and Gmail accounts (which I rarely check), and I'm alternately known to some of my online-only friends by my real name, and Morticia and sometimes Tish. All of my domain emails come through my cable modem account (which is in my maiden name as is the cable bill) and into one giant inbox. I get hundreds of emails a day, which are mostly spam. I get eBay emails for me and my husband (he buys things, I buy and sell), I get emails for each of my domains, emails for his business (I do all of the email and computer work for both of us). I have a home address and a PO Box. Our phone number is actually a forwarded number because my husband wanted to hold on to his old number when we moved. And we have a fax number. And a cell phone...
So if you ask me what my name is and I give you a blank stare for a moment, you'll know the reason why.
OK, I know I've been watching a lot of makeover type shows lately, but most of them involved home design. Now I've become obsessed with TLC's What Not To Wear, the US version, which is an hour long and is on almost every day it seems. I'm honestly not a trend or fashion freak, I've just always had a really hard time personally finding clothing that fit and looked good on me (and was comfortable) and this show is fascinating to me. Even when I was 98 pounds I had trouble finding jeans that fit properly, and had large shoulders, which, at 5'1", means sleeves and hemlines never fit correctly. I have a half dozen pair of pants hanging on my closet door right now that need hemming. I also worked in the retail & fashion world for years and handled so much clothing that I know too much about it now to be able to buy really bad clothes. I've been trying really hard to upgrade my own wardrobe to have clothing that actually fits me and isn't too baggy, at least in public ;-)
I missed most of the Memorial Day marathon, only caught a couple, poor Niya, a young urban black woman who bought clothes based on their original price tag and percentage off as opposed to whether they fit her. Or covered her. She had to lay on the bed to zip up her favorite skirt which was about 4 sizes too small and made her look six months pregnant. Then they gave her $5000 and sent her off alone in NYC and told her not to buy anything that would make her look like a hoochie mama when that's all she'd been wearing and her idea of a good outfit was based on the number of honks she got at the gas station.
I always feel sorry for them on day one, especially the women who don't shop on a regular basis, they're so overwhelmed and get very discouraged. Shopping is hard, I'm sorry, it really is. I love clothes but I hate shopping. Especially shoes and pants, too much stress. My arms will hurt for days afterwards from carrying stacks of clothes in various sizes because the fashion industry's sizing standards are so varied. And I want to try on as many things as possible at once to get it over with and be able to try and keep straight in my head what looks good and what doesn't. And I would not want to start my wardrobe over from scratch, even for $5000. I've finally gotten it down to things I either really, really like or just can't bear to part with for sentimental reasons (though often never wear, they're in storage). Even if they have good opinions, I don't like going by other people's rules for how to look. I wouldn't want a home makeover, either, unless my house was a total dump and I didn't own anything nice but it's fun to watch.
I went and looked at the website to get a link for this article and am really hooked now, besides having photos and info on all the shows, they have listings of what they bought, where, makeup and hair colors used, how much they spent... it's an OCD nightmare, yikes! But they also have the listing schedule and who is featured in which show, which will actually make my life a little easier because I can skip the shows I've seen, I've been having trouble trying to figure out their oddball weekly schedule. Unfortunately it's often on at midnight here which is about the time Sparky wants the big TV back, and he complains enough about having to watch Clean Sweep every week. I like that show even though everyone is a little too perky, though it seems kind of a cheat because they make the people throw like three fourths of their stuff out and then it's pretty easy to get the remainder back into their house... HGTV's Mission Organization is more challenging, IHMO. I'm very bad about following shows, especially one hour ones, usually Sparky timesets all of our one hour shows so we can watch them back without commercials, because about the only time I usually sit and watch TV is during dinner.
I'm always looking for women who have the same problems I do, I don't feel too sorry for the girls with cute little bodies and just bad taste. They had one girl on during the marathon with a Playboy figure (Irene) who was wearing basically stripper clothes to work (and her husband was complaining, go figure!), but all she needed was more coverage and better quality clothing, she would look good in anything.
I did sympathize with Alisha, who wore her husband's clothes, no makeup and thought skirts were fussy. I've always been a tomboy too, though I've learned that wearing boys tops really is not a good look for me. I still don't like skirts, though. It's not a modesty issue, skirts just aren't practical or comfortable in my opinion. Don't like pantyhose, if I don't wear pantyhose everything sticks together (it's hot in Houston!), and I'm not good at wearing shoes without socks (narrow heels, I just end up with blisters). Alisha is a taller girl, though, and not too busy so she could wear pretty things like empire waists, which I can't wear.
Looks like I missed the episode with Misti the Goth girl, I hope it comes around again. She's short like I am, though the photos of her wardrobe look awfully colorful for a Goth. I'm not real fond of the clothes they put her in, though she's ten years younger than me and they do look cute on her.
The 6/16 episode with Mary looks promising, she looks like she's going to be challenging and I like the looks they picked for her. She also looks to be short and busty without being too thin, so perhaps I'll learn something. I'd invest more money in clothing, but I have trouble justifying it when I feel like I still need to lose another 20 pounds. My big jump lately has been finding some jeans that fit (low waist jeans don't cut off my circulation, yippee!), and I actually own several nice belts and have worn them without going into a panic. I don't like anything tight around my waist, but since the pants hit lower the belts aren't too bad. (I'm very short, straight-waisted, all the weight loss in the world won't change that).
One of the women, I think it may have been Kimberly H., struck a note with me by saying that she had always worn her hair long to be more feminine and remembered being referred to as a boy by someone when she was young. That happened to me in about 6th grade, wearing jeans, a tee and a windbreaker I was looking at comic books when a clerk said "Little boy, don't read the comics". Now, everyone had long hair in the 70's, and I was a tomboy, but still... I think that may have played into my fear of cutting my hair for so many years.
I still don't like the pointy shoes and clutch purses they like to assign everyone, they look cute but are impractical. But I've seen myself in a lot of these women, long baggy shirts that just make me look bigger, pants that are too tapered, too short, big chunky shoes (no stilettos for me, sorry!), long scraggly hair (I cut it myself for years), no makeup, too much black... No wonder I don't like to be photographed, thank God I at least have cheekbones and good skin. More later, I'm going to try and beat Sparky to the bedroom so I can read a bit before trying to sleep.
Homework: A Household Meme current questions. I told myself I wasn’t going to do this one, because I don’t really consider myself a housewife, but the questions are too fun to pass up. And I’m am wife who works from home, so...
I went back and did some of the archived questions also (click Read More below), there are some really interesting ones.
HomeWork: Week 18
The phone rings. You've got unexpected company coming over in an hour! Look around your house. Is it company-ready? What can you do in an hour to get it up to the level that would make you comfortable?
Make the bed, straighten my office a bit (it’s in the living room), swish out the toilet, put new hand towels & toilet paper out, close the shower curtain, stuff anything into the closets that looks junky sitting out... Try and wipe some of the baby powder out of the hall bathroom, the stuff goes everywhere :-( Make sure I have a few cokes in the fridge. Our house isn’t usually dirty, mostly cluttered, working at home I often have a lot of “things” laying around in progress. Hopefully there won’t be any dishes in the sink...
HomeWork: Week 15
What is your favorite thing about your current house/apartment/domicile of other sort? What's your least favorite?
Probably the layout, for both questions. Our house has really good flow between the rooms, but my office has no privacy because it’s the living room. Someday I’ll figure out how to add pocket doors or something...
Also the wood floors are pretty, one of the reasons we bought the house, but they are also hard and get very dusty. We upgraded to storm windows a few years ago and that has been great, it makes the house nice and quiet and temperature controlled :-)
HomeWork: Week 13
Do you own any tried-and-true housework manuals or books? Have you belonged to any housekeeping or organizational groups, such as FlyLady? How have these worked for you?
I have Too Busy to Clean? which has good tips, and Home Comforts - the Art and Science of Keeping House which is a massive reference tome. (Ha! I just saw your mention at the beginning of the archives, I’m no Martha Stewart either ;-) I also have several organizing and closet books (because I’m obsessed with organizing). I have Julie Morgenstern’s Organizing From the Inside Out and get her newsletter, which is fun.
I’m also addicted to the Home & Garden Channel, and always try to catch Mission Organization and TLC’s Clean Sweep. I also have a book called Spiritual Housecleaning, but I haven’t read it yet. The single most useful household book I have is my old Fannie Farmer Cookbook my grandmother gave me when I moved into my first apartment. When you forget how long to boil eggs or bake potatoes, it's nice to have around.
HomeWork: Week 12
When was the last time you moved house? How long did it take you to pack? How long did it take you to get out of the boxes? Does your unpacking method more closely resemble the "get it all done as quickly as possible" style or the "do it slowly, do it right" one?
We just celebrated our sixth anniversary in our house, and we lived in our last house for seven years. Before I met my husband I used to move a lot and it was all very haphazard. My first big move out of town broke me of that, though, when it took me over a week to find my bath towels!
When we bought our house we had to wait an agonizing three months to move, so we packed and labeled everything to death. And it still took us 12 hours with two professional movers to get everything from one house to the other (just a few miles apart). We had a ton of stuff, and actually got rid of a lot of things at a pre-moving garage sale. We unpacked most of the boxes (lots went straight into storage) within a few days of moving, because it drives both of us nuts to be tripping over boxes. The only unfortunate thing is that the people we bought the house from were literally moving out when we were moving in, so we couldn’t bring in anything over in advance or do anything like paint the walls.
HomeWork: Week 8
How often do you grocery shop? Do you have a usual day or time for shopping? What's your budget for a typical grocery run?
I try for just once a week, but I go to the neighborhood supermarket and Sam’s Club. And, when I get a chance, Whole Foods. I don’t have a set day, it’s usually when we start running out of the important things, like my husband’s Mountain Dew, toilet paper, bottled water. I average about $200 bucks for the weekly basic groceries, but we don’t eat out a lot and I do buy some convenience foods, mostly from Sam’s. I like to go in the evenings, but a lot of times the stock is lacking, especially in fresh things like bagged salads.
HomeWork: Week 4
When you were a child, did you keep your room neat, or was it a disaster area? Why do you think that was?
It was organized but very cluttered. Lots of books, lots of Barbie stuff, many horses... I’ve always been a book fiend, that’s usually the majority of my clutter, books and papers. I hated having to make the bed and little things like that, though. Nothing nasty laying around, though, like old food (we have huge roaches in Houston!). My parents house was fairly spartan, though, so in comparison I was pretty messy.
HomeWork: Week 3
If you live with other people, how do you divide the housework? If you live alone, what chores would you like to give away, and which would you keep?
My husband is obsessed with vacuuming, so I let him. He’s also good at doing the dishes, but I don’t mind putting them up. I HATE dusting, it kills my allergies for days afterwards. I also don’t like cleaning the bathroom, though I’m pretty good about swishing the toilet out regularly. I’m rotten at sweeping too, we have lots of wood floors, hubby usually ends up doing that.
Week One
How often do you...
...clean your bedroom? It’s SOO dusty, very neat, but dusty. We need to have a pro in there to do the curtains so we don’t ruin them (that’s our excuse, at least)
...wash your sheets? Not often enough, every few weeks maybe. I’ll do the pillowcases every week or so, though.
...mop the kitchen floor? Usually when something breaks and we have to pick up bits of glass anyway.
...vacuum? Hubby vacuums several times a week, when we had an indoor dog he would do it almost daily. I think it’s therapeutic to him...
...dust? When it gets so bad we can’t stand it, or when we’re going to have major guests over. We have over 20 bookcases in the house and every one of them is full (sigh).
...clean the toilets? I do mine regularly, whenever anything starts appearing that shouldn’t. My husband does his every few months when it gets downright scary. His bathroom seems to have less air circulation of something, luckily it’s not the guest bathroom.
...scrub the tub? Mine stays pretty clean, except for a bit of mildew around the caulk. His looks like the shroud of turin and is a major undertaking that he only does about 3 or 4 times a year.
OK, after almost a week with my new short hair I've finally snapped to the two things that really made it look look so gorgeous after my stylist worked on it. The First is the styling spray he used, which is Smooth and Seal by Straight Sexy Hair, which is really an incredible product. It does leave some of that mega hairspray smell behind (and in the bathroom!), though, which is not good for me all the time because I do my hair before bed usually. But it's fabulous stuff, really, adds a lot of shine.
I also realized that the two hot irons I had were not going to work real well with my new hair. Or my hairbrushes, I had to get new smaller ones. I have a Conair round iron that is usable, but kind of rough on my hair and dangerously hot. And I had bought a fabulous Babyliss straightening iron about a year ago, but it's over 2 inches wide and just won't work. But I kept thinking I'm missing something and after some research figured out what it is. I didn't have my glasses on while my hair was being styled (and wasn't allowed to look), but when I mentioned I had a straightening iron my stylist asked what kind of Chi I had, which I thought I heard wrong, but then he mentioned it a few more times. So after some Google searches, I found out he meant a Farouk Chi flat iron, which is top of the line professional and very pricey. It also has ceramic plates and lots of safety features that let him get right up to my scalp without burning me like my Conair does.
But I'm determined to recreate the super straight, shiny hair I had a week ago, so I looked around on eBay and found them for sale for about 2/3 of the retail price. After more reading up, I decided to get the new Turbo version, which has variable heat settings and some added features the older version (there are many of the older one on eBay) didn't have. So I bought a one inch iron and will hopefully get it in the mail this week, the seller was one of two salons that had them for Buy It Now, and both promised same day Priority shipping. Some of the big discount type sellers were kind of vague in their shipping, and also sold things like bed linens so I decided to stick with a specialized seller. I'm a big believer in getting the best you can afford for things you use all the time and rely on so we'll see how this does.
I think I'm going to have to play with my haircolor, though, the red is looking much too coppery, which I didn't want, I think I'm going to have to add some blue based dark red to it. I should just dye it black again, but then I'd be back where I started. But I'm going to wait till the semi-perm dark brown washes out a bit more. It's really nice having someone else do the dirty work on my hair color, but I think I may invest more money in keeping my cut in good shape and do my color myself.
I feel somewhat caught up (and slightly broke) after taking care of business the last few days. I try really hard whenever I get a bit ahead financially to actually buy things I need and that are on my wishlist instead of things I didn't know I needed. It seems like when I does have money, I can't think of anything I really need, but as soon as I get low it's really obvious.
I had bought a second book on Body Rolling, which required a different sized ball than the ones I already have (they sell them online, of course), but the exercises are completely different in the first book I got. So I ended up buying two of the balls from Yamuna Zake's website, I saw some on eBay that were similar and cheaper, but didn't really want to chance it. Had to buy a damn pump too, but I guess it's a good thing to have. The Miracle Balls I've been using have really been wonderful, great for both my fibromyalgia and the muscle tension from my MS. And they don't cost $60 an hour ;-) Back when I was rich (ha!) from working two jobs, I would try and go to a massage therapist every two weeks or so, but I'm one of those people that is so tight that it never really did a lot of good. But I'm having a lot of fun and getting good results from rolling, and who wouldn't like an exercise you do primarily laying down.
What else... got semi caught up on meds and groceries today, at least the refrigerator is full and Sparky has lunchmeat, bread, Diet Mountain Dew and bottled water, so he's happy. Sam's Club had more of my favorite Tropical Chicken Salad, they haven't discontinued it yet as I feared, awesome stuff to snack on! Plus an easy dinner for tonight, cold shrimp and potato salad, an all-time favorite with both of us. And a case of canned green beans, which should hold us for awhile (I'm a lazy cook, BTW).
Also ran into Old Navy today to try and find a belt for my poor jeans that won't stay up (maybe I really am losing weight, but I think it's more of a Lycra issue), and ended up also buying half a dozen of their Perfect Fit tees (two for $15!) which are actually sized big enough that adults can wear them and they are thick enough that they don't look like underwear. I even got some that weren't black. I wanted some Navy ones but they were sold out of anything above Medium, just looked online and they're out too, dammit. With the weather so hot I'm already tired of walking around in long oversized tees. I also got a couple more pair of their Just Lounge Capris (only the long ones are on their website but these look like just like the Capris), which hit me at the ankle and are great around the house (also on sale, yippee!). I used to buy their Yoga Capris but they're making them shorter now. They're really comfy for around the house, but they wear out pretty quickly, but for $15 what the heck. Did get belt, I wanted a leather one, but found a black and white brocade fabric belt that is very adjustable, plus comfy and attractive and got it.
And I paid Sparky back for the last few weeks of utility bills, and bought more mailing supplies. And... I bought a new curling iron (see next entry for info!).
Well, I finally got around to going back to get my hair cut and the color redone (it only took me 4 1/2 months, that's actually pretty good for me, last time it was like five years). I knew I wanted some red in it and I knew I wanted it shorter for the summer. I haven't had it cut above shoulder level since I was in elementary school (first grade?) and got sort of a pixie cut, which was actually one of my favorite haircuts of all time.
I've made it all sorts of different colors before, usually on my own (except for my purple cellophane phase, a pro had to do that). I showed my stylist a picture of a girl who (to me at least) looked like she had really dark auburn hair, and he went and mixed the color and then let it set, but I could see in the mirror it was looking really red. Which wouldn't be a problem, but I wanted a dark red because the bottom half of my head is still pretty much black. So he rinsed it off, and I ran to the bathroom before returning to the station, and saw in the mirror it was REALLY red, my natural color had just soaked it up (gulp).
When I sat back down, I told him I was afraid it was a little too punky (which is not necessarily a bad thing) but the dark bottoms and lighter roots made my fine hair look too thin. He cut it some, dried it, we went and walked around with a mirror outside, and yep, it was too bright and too light.
So he trots out more color, semi-perm this time, a dark brown with a bit of red, and I sit under the dryer while it penetrates and second try, much darker. Then I let him go to town on trimming, my hair grows fast so by August I know it will be back where I started again, and he trimmed it almost into a long shag. I wasn't allowed to look while he styled it, he sprayed a styling aid on it to straighten it first and then he went to work with the straightening iron (I actually happen to own one myself, yea me!) and when he finished it was super straight and shiny.
I was naughty and made him trim it back from my face some, even though it looked really pretty all feathered, I wish I could have taken a photo before he trimmed it back but I knew it would have bugged me. It's so hot here in the summer I really wanted to get as much hair away from my face as possible.
Then I spent more money shopping in their candy store full of hair products, got the spray he used, and another bottle of my favorite MOP conditioner (really good for fine hair), and a heavy duty weekly-type conditioner just because I think I need one. I've been using their MOP products since my last haircut in January and he said my hair looked like it was in really good condition today, last time the stylist told me it was very dry, so apparently organic really is better than my normal Pantene stuff ;-) I have a basket full of hair care products under my sink, probably because I'm never happy with it. I really like the last two cuts I've gotten from Pope Hair, though, which is amazing because I've spent up to $75 for a cut at some of the trendy salons here in town (with pictures of the local new people up on the wall even, ooh...) and been disappointed (especially after I washed all the gunk they put in it out). If you can't get a decent cut for that much money it's kind of depressing. I'm not big on styling products, I don't like hairspray and gel (and I wash my hair at night), all I want in life is a decent cut to tame my poor fine, frizzy hair. I am trying to make myself use something to keep the frizz down on a regular basis because I live in windy humid town.
So here are the new pics, for some reason Sparky can't take a picture of me that doesn't look like a police lineup shot, which is partly my fault for having no makeup on, but I really do like the all red pic of me and Phoebe (he had his thumb over the flash).
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I can't make it to Washington, but for anyone who can, the March for Women's Lives is this weekend. I hope it accomplishes something, give them a few bucks if you can afford it, I did ;-)
Had to make a new category, I look at a lot of blogs but don't have as much time to read them all as I wish, but better to be a good blogger and pass them on than just store them in my ever-growing bookmark list. I'm afraid I'm still stuck in the "website" mindset when it comes to links, etc., even though I've had this blog up for over a year.
Flipping around lately I've found some really great ones. SistersTalk is a black lesbian woman's astute observations on the insanity going on politically in our screwed up world.
A View From A Broad is the LiveJournal of a female soldier in Iraq who is also a fan girl, which makes for some interesting reading. I scared the crap out of my parents in high school by talking to Army recruiters (who called the house repeatedely), but decided any job that makes you get up at the crack of dawn daily would not work for me. In high school I had no clue what to do for a career, I graduated in 1980. Signed on for Computer Science like most of my friends, but after failing Calculus three times decided I really hated the sciences, and, at the time, really sucked at computers. (We're talking punch cards here, folks).
Baghdad Burning is another perspective on the war from an Iraqi woman's point of view. Eerie and enlightening, like reading Anne Frank's journal online in real time.
Feministe is a mom who defends abortion rights in a common sense & logical fashion. (I'm all for logic & common sense, not nearly enough of it out there to go around these days)
I don't really understand I Am Eating My Husband's Soul, sort of an ongoing fantasy scenario thing, but it's damned funny and the writing is first rate.
WitchyBitch has a pagan point of view and a great name ;-)
Finally made it to Sam's Club to pick up my $100+ worth of prescriptions that I dropped off earlier this week. I had told my doctor I wanted to up my Prozac from 30 mg a day (3x10) for 40mg (2x20) and she wrote the prescription out for one 40mg pill a day, yikes... I thought the pharmacy had shorted me when I checked the receipt because it was only $11 and for 30 pills, but no, apparently 30 40mg pills are less than half the price of 90 10mg pills, huh?? Well, OK, I figured they would cost more but who's complaining?
Got a new birth control pill too, decided to switch to LoEstrin from LoOvral (which I've been on for like 15 years) after seeing the following on the Family Practice Notebook's website (which is fabulous, BTW):
1. Breast Tenderness (lower Estrogen)
2. Headaches (lower Estrogen)
3. Moodiness (less Estrogen or more Progestin)
4. Weight gain (less Estrogen or more Progestin)
5. Libido decreased (more androgen)
OK... I can do without all of the above and it said LoEstrin is better for women over 40 so I'll let you know how it works out, I'm starting it up tomorrow night and am going to try skipping my period for the three months on/one week off deal since I'm not having a period anyway, just lots of migraines in my week off.
We went out to eat tonight and I blew my high protein diet at IHOP with french toast, but at least I had eggs and bacon with it. I couldn't finish the french toast, though, which is a good sign. I was going to have an omelette but my eyes were itching already (I'm allergic to eggs) and I want to see Kill Bill Vol. 2 tonight so I figured I'd better not chance more than one scrambled egg. I've lost about four pounds so far since I've dropped my carbs again, though, so I'm trying to behave.
My mom made it back to the doctor for another x-ray and apparently her hip is not fractured just bruised badly, thank goodness. We went to Luby's last night and got take out and brought it to them so she could have something other than Chinese delivery food, my dad's not the greatest cook and he can't stand for very long and now she can't either. I feel like I'm not doing enough for them, but I couldn't think of anything else to do, if I was a good cook I would have brought her a casserole... She says it feels a little better so maybe it's starting to heal.
Annoying item for tonight... I was watching Oprah today and saw Chris Rock and Jon Stewart and they also had SNL's Maya Rudolph on, who is Minnie Riperton's daughter, which would explain why she's so good at playing black ladies. So after the show, Sparky whips out one of his 70's Number One Hits albums and starts playing "Lovin' You" over and over. Sort of a frightening thing to have stuck in your head, especially at bedtime. Oprah mentioned that she was "the late" Minnie Riperton, which makes the song both annoying and sad at the same time if you know the lyrics, which, unfortunately, I do. Her fansite said she died of breast cancer in 1979, at 32 years old, even sadder, I did not know that. Apparently she was a pioneer in breast cancer awareness, damn, where was I in 1979? Oh, yeah, in high school, unaware and self-absorbed. I probably heard about it at the time but my memory is shot now. But Maya does look like her and certainly has her pipes ;-) The site says "Lovin' You" started out as a lullaby for Maya, I was thinking earlier today, weirdly enough, that perhaps it devoted to her husband or children, but that chorus might be a little alarming. [She says as the piercing sound echoes through her brain, over and over...]
On a more serious note, I'm afraid I've gotten a real wake-up call medically. I've always had bad health. so I'm sort of just used to it and accept it, but after my physical last week I discovered:
I've had a tendency to have high cholesterol for about 15 years now, but it usually never goes over about 260 and my HDL (good) is usually pretty high. I'm adopted so new health problems are always a surprise to me, my mom has been battling high cholesterol and hypertension for most of her adult life and I don't want to have to do the same thing. The only time I've ever been able to get my number below 200 was when I had been seriously following the Atkins diet for several months. I'm supposed to still be on it, but I've fallen way off the wagon the last six months or so, eating way too much bread and sugar. I was on a low fat diet for years and my cholesterol kept going up, so I'm going to have to try the low carb route again. Apparently I'm insulin resistant. My husband is proportionately as or more overweight than I am, and his reading is 169. He's lucky to have great genetics. At least my blood pressure is still lower than normal.
Having MS, it's hard for me to exercise regularly, actually it was hard before also, I've never had any aerobic endurance at all. The only thing I've found I'm good at, like and work well for me is anaerobic exercise, i.e. weightlifting. I've always wanted my own big multi-station home gym, and would have one right now if it were up to me, but Sparky is maniacally opposed to it. When I got my results in the mail today, though, I told him I've got to do something and soon. So he at least agreed to bring my weight bench back in from the nasty outside storage room he stashed it in against my will, and to let me bring some of my free weights back into the house. Now all I have to do is actually use them.
I've been promising myself I'm going to make a serious try at doing yoga regularly also, I've got enough videos to open my own studio. We have a 24 hour gym a few miles away from us, but the damned thing is booked solid every time I've ever driven by it, even in the middle of the night. Years ago we hopefully bought a Health Rider, which I think I used a dozen times and it sits in our garage taking up space and reminding me daily what a failure I am and Sparky of the $700 bucks he spent on it. Hmm, I wonder if he'd let me bring it back in the house...
The fibroids are sort of scary, I had a lot of female problems in my 20's and have always been much more worried about getting cancer down there than up top. I did a lot of research on the internet and found some great sites that made me feel a little better about having them. But now whenever my abdomen hurts, I know why and it really bugs me. When the doctor was examining me I felt them, they hurt like hell! Fortunately I'm not planning on having children, but I still don't want to start having problems. I've been on birth control pills for 21 years now, and just had her change me to new ones (Loestrin, which I start next week) that are supposed to be better for 40+ year olds, because I seriously believe I'm well into perimenopause now, I feel like crap when I'm off my BC pills. But I don't smoke so I'm going to keep taking them as long as I can. When I'm on them I have hardly any period to speak of, and the last few months I haven't had any at all, which is fine with me.
For info on uterine fibroids check out:
Sex, Lies and Uterine Fibroids (awesome site!)
National Uterine Fibroids Foundation
Medline's Page on Uterine Fibroids
Important stuff, go to Million4Roe this weekend to see what you can do about the urgent abortion rights crisis. We're only one vote away from losing our rights. The Never Go Back fund is matching donations until 8 pm this Saturday night so please check it out right away.
More peeves, I'm in a peevy mood today...
I've been trying to move a bunch of my auction images to the new storage site and eBay has been driving me fricking insane all night. They have a bug, which is only getting worse, where they make you login over and over again instead of once as it's supposed to be, and I'd get halfway through updating an auction and it would tell me I'm not the seller and make me login again. Eventually it just completely stalled out and I gave up. I don't even think I'm halfway through one store (with 200+ images) and I still have my main store to work on. I was trying to get them all done before the end of the month so I could get accurate traffic stats for March without the eBay hits.
Even though I've stopped eating/taking everything I can think of that would make me break out in hives I'm still getting the damned things. I look like I had a fight with a rose bush, and my eyes are itching and tearing. Plus the mosquitoes seem to have awoken from their hibernation and I'm one of those people they seek out. They never bite Sparky, they've been after me my whole life, maybe it's my blood type, I dunno.
Never did start my period (sometimes I don't, I'd much rather it be that way than the problems most women my age have, of too much), restarted by BC pills and some of the hot flashes have abated, though I spent the whole morning tossing and turning.
My glasses are REALLY bothering me big time. I actually shilled out big bucks to get some prescription reading and distance ones made, and the optometrist made the reading ones way too strong and put an astigmatism correction on the left eye on both pairs and it makes me dizzy to wear the damned things. He said give it a month and try it, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get used to either pair, and am going to have to have the left lenses remade. My non-prescription reading glasses are getting old and seem to constantly be dirty, which is giving me little panic attacks. I was born with rotten vision, but when I was like 18 I got contact lenses and wore them for about 8 years or so until I got RK. Then everything (except my night vision) was great until a few years ago when basically a combination of the RK, my MS, and age started making my vision just go to hell. And I'm told I can't wear soft contacts again, perhaps special (expensive) hard ones. but anyway, I hate wearing glasses again, even though they're not half an inch thick anymore. It appears like I'm looking through a tunnel and it makes me feel very vulnerable and helpless, which is not a feeling I'm used to...
And don't even get me started on Ralph Nader. The Democratic debates were fun tonight, I noticed Kerry and Edwards were making nice references to each other and kind of shying away from Al and Dennis, who, having nothing to lose, were going all out. I'm still getting Dean emails, I still have a Dean sticker in my car window, his camp is working on some sort of continuing project, but I'm not really sure what.
Damn the heater came on again, got to go turn the temperature down to 69, I'm not looking forward to sweating in the shower before bed (yuck). I'm actually looking forward to being able to have the AC on again.
What's bugging me right now...
Broke my right thumbnail by smacking it into the towel rack earlier this week, I'm really freaky about fingernail stuff. It's amazing what you CAN'T do with no right thumbnail to speak of...
Phoebe threw up in my desk chair the other day so like an idiot I sprayed Febreze in it to get the smell out. My question now is, how do I get the Febreze smell out? I'm really sensitive to smells and it smells like a fabric softener sheet and is really making me queasy. Plus it gets on my clothes since I'm sitting on it. Bleccchh...
As previously mentioned, I've had the same dull headache (only interrupted by a few short piercing migraines) for several weeks straight now. I was blaming it on the weather, but it hasn't rained much this week, so I dunno. I'm afraid I'm getting addicted to codeine because of it. My new pharmacist filled my normal prescription with 100 pills instead of 30 because the resident who wrote my prescription out as "enough for 30 days", which I'm not complaining about, but it's a little too tempting.
Been literally working my ass off on eBay with lots of sales with what seem to be proportionately little profits for the amount of labor involved. Aso eBay raised their listing fees this month which doesn't help, and I've been using gallery pics on almost every auction which adds up quickly. It's nearly impossible to sell things without it now, though.
I've been trying to cut back on my cat figurine collecting, I'm running out of shelf space and I'm getting too picky now for my pocketbook. Got a great collection, though. Had to put them out of the way of Phoebe, though, she thinks they're toys to be batted to the floor.
Food hasn't been particularly appealing lately and I haven't felt much like cooking it, much to Sparky's dismay. Had lots of salads and pasta, easy stuff. It sucks when you walk into a grocery store and nothing looks appetizing especially when you really are hungry. Been buying too much sweet stuff to compensate, but I don't feel like eating it. I raised my caffeine level to the point where my left eye was twitching, it took me like a week to figure out that was what was causing it, because it didn't take much. I need to get off carbs again, I feel so much better when I am, but I'm not a big veggie person and you can only eat so much meat. I ate junk food all night at the party, someone brought Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies, yikes, another hurdle to dodge when I go out for the next month or so. I used to have to sell the damn things so I'm especially vulnerable.
And I'm in that "any second now" period for my PMS (the "come on, get it over with damn it" feeling), and after eating chips and cookies all night I feel like I'm going to explode, gag. Too much salt probably.
Lots of Mac struggles lately, that's an entry by itself, though. And don't get me started on the Democratic primaries... I'm glad we have some hope to save the world from imminent destruction, but I don't like the way we're picking candidates out of desperation and the lovely media polls. I think at this point they could compare a tree stump and Dubya and the tree stum would be ten points ahead (sigh). I hate polls, and the babbling hypothesizing media in general.
Lots of skin allergies the last few weeks, been itching my hands and legs raw. I've been doing pretty good except for this new flareup, but it still annoys me. I never had hives in my life until about 8 years ago when two medicines my doctor gave me collided in my system and I've been fighting them ever since, even Tylenol gives me hives now.
On the plus side, though, I actually had a good hair day today, and two people said I looked like I've lost weight :-)
Been a weird week. It started out with Sparky bitching at me about "what can I do about my hair??" (it's sort of thin and very dark, not a good combination). I told him screw Rogaine (I tried it years ago, no dice and icky), what I really needed was a first rate cut and a professional color job with lowlights to make it look fuller. He agreed so off I went to a salon I found on the internet that sounded nice and is in a nice neighborhood near my house with his Mastercard. (It's Pope Hair for the search engines, link above ;-)
I've never had high expectations for my hair, it's always been long, fine, wavy, frizzy and I've had pretty much the same long style since I was a teen. But I looked through lots of hairstyle pics online, played with a virtual style try on website and tried to get some realistic ideas for styles my hair might actually be able to do. I'm a very low maintenance gal, don't like a lot of junk in my hair, but I've started using some styling gel, etc. in the last couple of months out of desperation because I've been really dissatisfied with it. I haven't gotten a professional cut in years, partly because it seems whenever I do my hair always looks pretty much the same or they want to make it all curly. Long story short, the stylist was fabulous, listened to my ideas, toned down my too black hair, gave me lowlights and a much shorter style that actually looks like something. And the owner suggested I try some Nioxin vitamins to strengthen my hair and nails. Nice low key, low pressure salon, with great stylists and tons of stuff to buy, so I'm going to try and be a good girl and go back every few months.
When I walked out the door, though, it started raining. Rained all day today too. Being January, which I call the death month, within 24 hours two people close to us have died. This morning my husband wakes me up to tell me my dad just called and my mother's brother died suddenly the day before. He'd had heart conditions for most of his life and several surgeries, but they were just in town last weekend visiting my parents and my uncle spent most of his time worrying about my dad's health, which has been haphazard lately. My aunt and uncle live in the Texas Hill Country, which is hours and hours away from here, so my parents spent the day debating how and if they would be able to go to the funeral. I even offered to drive, but my mom finally decided my dad would not be able to make it by plane or by car and she didn't want to leave him alone overnight so at this time none of us are going.
Also later this evening, one of our good friends called us to say his mom had finally passed away today. Poor thing, she'd been lingering for a long time, and the past week he and his siblings had been keeping constant watch over her. so we kind of knew it was coming. We had planned to attend her funeral, then thought we'd be out of town, and now it seems we're not going anywhere so we will be able to make it.
But I'm exhausted now and I need to go wash my hair for the "first time" and I'm hoping it bounces back to some semblance of the style she gave it. I bought the mousse she used and even a texturizer for my bangs, but I think tonight I'm just going to use the organic shampoo & conditioner I got (which should prolong the new color) and see how it looks. With all this rain, it's just going to frizz anyway, and it appears the furthest I'll be going from the house all weekend is to the grocery store.
The four bracelets I've assembled so far, pardon the flash
OK, on to Italian Modular Charm Bracelets finally. If you haven't seen these, they're stainless steel (and sometimes gold) stretch bracelets with links that can be switched out and customized however you want, and made whatever size you want. The really fun part is the thousands of different charms you can put on them. Most of the charms are flat, like the bracelets, which I love because I hate dangly things. They also make links with dangle charms soldered onto them if you like that sort of thing.
I didn't even know these things existed till a friend of ours, who actually just got back from Italy, was wearing one. He told me to look the maker of his (Zoppini) up on eBay or to go look at the malls, but I'm an eBay person. There are entire categorized sections of eBay devoted to these, the best place to start is in the Modular Italian category. Now there are usually over 50,000 listings in this category, but if you like to browse, it's broken up into smaller subcategories. The easiest thing to do is type in a word to search for (like "halloween") and check out what comes up. There are charms for sale from about a dollar up to $20 or $30, they are usually priced by quality. There are cheap Asian made charms and the nicer, higher quality Italian made charms. Also a number of American made ones. If you'd like them to last a long time go with at least the mid priced ones, expect to pay between $9 and $16 for them.
Now the first mistake I made was when I spent too much money on the base or starter bracelet. It's good to invest in a good quality stainless steel one, but if you end up with a lot of charms you won't even end up needing a bracelet. There are several major Italian and American companies that make them, it's best to pick one that has a brand name as a starter because there's also lots of cheapies. I had some weird idea that the charms fit over the links on the bracelet but they actually replace the links. I bought two bracelets and extra links and now have like 4 bracelets because of all the charms I've bought. The average person needs about 18 total links (including charms) to make one bracelet. The actual blank bracelets themselves, especially the matte ones and colored ones, are attractive on their own in a kind of nice urban way also. BTW, there are actually several different sizes of bracelets, some narrower and wider, but the standard 9mm "medium" sized bracelet is the one that most of the charms are made for.
When you're looking at charms there are several types. The most common are ones with enameled designs on them, then there are laser etched charms, then a variety of homemade ones. There are handpainted, handmade varieties, but be more careful with these, they're often more fragile than the factory made ones. Make sure the links say they are stainless steel and that the charms are soldered on, not glued. You can even get custom etched ones with different words and designs on them, I got one made that says "Morticia" and it looks great.
When you're flipping around looking, if you see something you like, bookmark it and check and see what else the seller has. Most of them will combine shipping on multiple purchase, though many have a 1-5 day limit on when the auctions close. Also, speaking as an eBay seller, PLEASE don't sent more than one Paypal payment, we get charged a fee for each payment sent. But anyway, you'll end up finding specific sellers that have a lot of things you like, but before you start buying, do some searches to see what price other sellers are selling the same charm for. Also, many sellers have eBay stores where they list Buy It Now items so don't overpay for something the seller has 20 more of.
Unless you have really strong fingernails, it's good to have a charm tool to help get the charms on and off of the bracelet. I bought a black plastic Zoppini brand tool, and it works great and doesn't scratch the bracelet when you're pulling and pushing on the links. They run about $6. A lot of sellers will throw in a tool when you buy a starter bracelet also. Once you get the hang of it, it's actually pretty easy to get the charms on and off.
Now that I've bored you to with all this info, let me tell you some of what I've bought so far and give you some good sellers to check out. My charms include:
A glitter Texas flag, an enameled Democratic donkey, a green shamrock, several different cat charms, a tiny gold computer, a gold camera, a motorcycle, a Batman logo, a stack of books, a witch on a broom with a black CZ in the center, a peace sign, two laser paw prints to represent my two dogs who have passed on, a police badge, a police cap, a police car, a pair of handcuffs and a pistol (I used to work in law enforcement). I also have several fleur de lis symbols, a moon and star, a horseshoe, and a teapot and cup. And I've made a Halloween themed bracelet with a jack o'lantern, a black bat, a coffin, an arched black cat, a couple of skulls, a spider web and Snoopy & Woodstock sleeping on a jack o'lantern. And I have a black witch hat, a cauldron, a witch on a broom, and a spooky owl on the way. (Got several of them today!)
These are people I've bought from and had good luck with so far:
For good inexpensive charms check out:
Pugster Inc
Fundamental Advice
Silverstone Direct
For laser engraved & custom charms:
SpectraCharms
Morning.Calm
Parodi Design
For authentic Italian, better quality and licensed charms:
Charming Chick Stuff
cmr3
MommyLuvsToShop
QuiteCharming
Nappi Italian Charms
Kelleyland Kollectibles
Back to the after effects of the last few posts... All in all the whole situation was probably a good thing, it sort of shocked me out of the hole I've been living in. When you work at home you start to take your appearance for granted, I'm afraid. Especially when the only places I go seem to be the grocery store, post office and bank. And we'll have an occasional meal out, sometimes with a little neighborhood shopping afterwards (book store, Walmart, exciting places like that). And I'm a tomboy, I don't get along with things like hose, skirts, heels or even bras. I never have, never will.
So the first thing I realized is I have to start eating better and lose some weight. I was a skinny person the first half of my life and then it started to slowly creep up on me as my health declined, which of course made me feel even worse. And gave me high cholesterol. At 5'1" every bloody pound shows and even when I was 98 pounds I wasn't a good clothes hanger, I have an odd build, it's always been hard to find clothes that fit and looked decent. I have a medium to large frame for a short person, wide shoulders, large ribcage, no waist (I've got like an inch or two between my hip bones and my ribs), I wear and 8 1/2 shoe (and I have flat feet), and now I have the added problem of having big boobs so nothing fits right anymore.
I'm so tired of wearing big baggy tee shirts and knit pants. I want to wear normal tees and jeans... and boots! I miss wearing boots but they look ridiculous with my normal pants. So, I'm trying to eat better, snack less and next I need to start some sort of exercise program. I think I'll "restart" my yoga, at least it's something.
I'm working harder on my hair also. I've always had wavy, frizzy, fine hair and I'm one of those people that refuses to use hairspray or gel, but I actually bought some straightening gel this week. Haven't tried it yet, maybe tonight. I shower before bed, so the thought of having something in my hair freaks me out. But we're actually going to a movie tomorrow night (two weekends in a row, wow!). I also had a panic attack of sorts yesterday and toned down my hair color. I colored it about a month ago, my normal Clairol blue black, but I must have left it in too long because the color took more than it usually did and it looked a little TOO black for my complexion. My hair doesn't absorb color well so I've never had that problem before. I spent an evening playing at the Clairol Try It On Studio (I look cool with purple hair, who knew?). So I'm thinking I'll try and add some brown over it, but I'm broke and couldn't afford it, then I get home and realize I actually have some color under the sink from like a year ago. Yippee! I used to always mix dark brown and black but I've been lazy this year and been buying the pre-packaged kits. So I find a bottle of Miss Clairol darkest brown (neutral base) and just go for it. And it looks better, a little softer with more depth. Maybe I'll work back towards dark brown again, who knows...
What else?? I'm trying to dress a little more girly, not be so baggy, actually remember to put on a little bit of jewelry, use a bit of makeup for actual events like dinners out with friends and things. I bought Dr. Phil's book, I'm actually going to try and read it, I like Dr. Phil. I remember when my mom was my age she gained some weight and kept it on for quite a while, then her doctor told her to lose it for her health and now she's tiny. She and my dad used to walk every day, and both got in really good shape, though now they're not able to anymore. I'm trying to get my husband out to walk, the weather has been strangely "fall like" the last week or two. And he did go for a walk this week. Men can lose weight so easily, just a couple of little changes. He's likes to walk, I'm terrible at it because of arthritis in my feet. So yoga it is for now...
Next entry, I'm finally going to get to the Italian charm bracelets :-)
Well hell, now Buffy the Vampire Slayer has officially been cancelled :-( Rumors have been floating around for some time because Sarah Michelle Gellar's contract was up this year, but apparently UPN has spared her the decision. There are talks of a spin-off series, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Hopefully Joss can keep Angel alive, the storylines have been really spectacular lately and I gotta admit, we watched all of our backlogged timeset videos of Angel before we watched Buffy (we still have two Buffys to watch, but we're actually up to date on Angel).
I don't really watch a lot of TV, so when they cancel my favorite shows I get a little upset. I'm amazed Buffy lasted this long, though, seems like everytime a really intelligent, original TV series comes around it doesn't even make it one season. Speaking of, we were flipping channels tonight during dinner and landed on the closing credits of Are You Hot?. Shallow, vain contestants who apparently weren't hot enough were actually crying in the closing credits, 'I guess I'm just not good enough...'. First off, to paraphrase Bill Maher from his new HBO show last week, 'let porn be porn, don't try to package it as primetime TV'. And what kind of message are we sending to young people? If these supermodel/stripper types aren't good enough to be considered "hot", how is the average supposed to feel? I think the show should just be put on cable TV or pay-per-view and retitled "Am I Slutty Enough?" and just let them all run around naked. For a more intelligent take on self-image click here
I had to get up early today to get some things done around the house, so I actually did manage to sit through several different shows. Dr. Phil had a really moving show on the damage that bullies cause to other kids, including one mother's heartbreaking story about her son's suicide because of some particularly vicious bullies. That's one thing I honestly never understood when I was growing up and luckily managed to avoid most of them. I didn't have a lot of friends in school, but I think I've always been the kind of person that people like that never quite knew what to make of. I'm a really intense person and I think a lot of people see that as a little bit nuts, which is fine with me.
I actually defended quite a few friends, mostly boys oddly enough, many recently arrived from foreign countries during the immigration floods of the 1970's, who the larger rednecks (especially those in the "rodeo club") would pick on. My best friend in high school, a quiet Lebanese boy with glasses, was constantly being kicked in the ass when he walked through the hallways by these thugs. He's a successful dentist now, BTW, I would bet the rednecks are lucky to be moving furniture for a living... Come to think of it, my best friend in junior high school, a slightly built gay boy, was constantly being harrassed also. I remember when I left elementary school, where life really wasn't too bad and entered the 7th grade was when I realized how mean people really were. No one actually got hurt by the bullies in elementary, but some of the kids in jr. high went on to become prison inmates at a fairly young age, one of them actually killed someone. I can't imagine the hell kids must be going through now...
I do know we seem to be raising a generation of sociopaths lately, though. I know several of my friends have kids who have been bullies from an early age, hitting and even biting other kids and their parents. Back in the early 80's when I was working as a salesperson I started to really notice that kids were suddenly much more disrespectful and prone to violence. I don't have kids, and don't want any, so I'm just giving my opinion, but I am worried about where the world is headed, I mean look where we are now. Half the people I know are out of work, most of the country is apathetically standing by while the US is just determined to go stomp the crap out of Iraq, just to prove it can (and steal their oil while they're there), and the most popular shows on TV are these mean, humiliating reality shows.
Serious stuff from the Feminist Majority, take a few seconds and pop an email off to protest:
The Senate Judiciary Committee will vote on Miguel Estrada‚s nomination to
the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals on Thursday, January 30, 2003. Estrada
has not demonstrated commitment to women‚s rights or civil rights and has
refused to answer questions about his commitment to abortion rights or
basic civil rights. He should not be confirmed.
Urge Senators to Vote Against the Nomination of Miguel Estrada
Similar to Clarence Thomas, Estrada has refused to reveal his position on
critical legal issues. During his hearing, Estrada was asked whether he
thought Roe v. Wade, and Romer v. Evans (the case that struck down
Colorado's anti-gay rights measure), were correctly decided. He declined
to answer, stating that he had not read the briefs, listened to the
arguments or researched the issues. He gave a similar answer when asked
about Supreme Court cases in the areas of environmental protection and
labor rights.
Senator Leahy noted in his statement on the Estrada nomination that the
Judiciary Committee has an "insufficient record" on which to predict his
ability to be a fair and impartial judge. After the Estrada hearing,
Senator Leahy stated: "I was hoping that the hearing would allay concerns
that have been raised about this nomination, but I was left with more
questions than answers after all of the steps Mr. Estrada took to avoid
answering questions at that hearing." Senator Schumer told Mr. Estrada
during his hearing: "We don‚t know you, and the purpose of this hearing is
to get to know you a little better. And in all due respect, you are not
letting us do that hardly at all."
The burden should be on the nominee for a lifetime appointment to show
that he deserves to serve as a federal judge. Estrada‚s lack of an
established record and unwillingness to answer questions means that he has
failed to make this showing. Senators should vote against his nomination.
Related links:
It's been one of those strange evenings where time has moved very slowly. I slept way too late, but I still seem to have gotten tons of things done. And it's barely 2am and I'm done with work for the evening. I wish I could figure out why time moves as it does, my assumption is it's mostly a state of mind thing, I haven't been feeling as hectic as usual this week despite PMS, plumbing problems and my hiatal hernia acting up. Had a really nasty bout of acid reflux a few days ago and still haven't really gotten over that yucky feeling in my throat. I haven't been taking my daily Calcium-Magnesium supplement to ward off my PMS the last few days for fear of upsetting my stomach, I need to try and get back on it tonight. It really does help as a preventative, also the magnesium helps me sleep, and I'm lactose intolerant so the calcium can't hurt.
Speaking of time, I joined The Ageless Project this weekend, I've been meaning to do it for awhile, I love their site, you can search people's websites by their age and the decade they were born. (I'm in the 1960's, FYI :-) It's really a fascinating thing, I've always been proud of my age, to misquote Oprah, "I own those years". Both Oprah and Dr. Phil have had shows this month about women denying their real age or afraid to age. Wearing their teenagers clothing and way too much makeup. I don't know if it's vanity or lack of, but I've always owned up to my actual age. I also hardly ever wear makeup and just wear whatever is comfortable (lots of black and grey, can't really go wrong). The only place I really look my age is in my eyes, which are far too serious and usually have dark circles from allergies and other health problems. No real wrinkles to speak of yet, though. I've stayed out of the sun since I was about 12 years old, my mother set the example for me (she still has lovely skin in her 70's), have never smoked and take really good care of my skin. As you can probably tell from my main website, I enjoy being pale ;-) I have to be especially careful the last ten years or so because my skin has gotten ultra-sensitive and I've developed chronic Rosacea, "the curse of the Irish". Sunscreen irritates my skin, so I just stay inside as much as possible. I can't tolerate excessive hear anyway because of some other health problems so it's no loss to me, it's too hot down South to hang around outdoors. A bonus for living in Houston is the humidity, though. I rarely ever have a good hair day, but it's better for my skin. I lived in the more arid Texas hill country for several years and my allergies and my skin rebelled (though I did have better hair ;-) As lousy as the summer weather can be here, I'd still rather live on the humid Gulf Coast. I think the only place more humid is New Orleans, which is my favorite city in the US. So now you know the secret of Southern women's "peaches and cream" skin, no sun and lots of humidity. I gave up on my hair years ago, it's going to be frizzy and wavy no matter what I do (though I do own a few straightening irons for special occasions ;-)
I've always heard that Capricorns age backwards. I started off as a very grim, serious little girl, and I think I have probably gotten more carefree as I've gotten older. I wouldn't want to go back and have to relive my teens or even twenties, I like being older. My last job involved working around a lot of 20-somethings and recent college graduates and I always enjoyed lording my age and experience over them. All the little crises they went through seemed so trivial, though I did act as sort of an older sister and sometimes therapist. Most of my friends growing up were older than me, though my best friend is 9 years younger than me. She grew up with three older brothers, though and is much more mature and older culturally than most people her age. She's also an Earth sign, so that's probably one of the reasons we think alike.
Oops, it's after three in the morning now, time is moving forward again. I'm getting chilly sitting still at my desk, time to dive under my stack of blankets and read for awhile.
Oh, and if you were wondering, I just turned 41 this month ;-)
Two momentous occasions today, this is my 50th weblog entry and I'm 25 points away from getting a 5000 rating and a green star on eBay :-) I actually have over 6800 positive feedback points on eBay, but ones from repeat bidders/seller don't count toward your total. I've been buying some things lately on eBay, I got my first Living Dead Doll (Lottie from Series 3, she's just too cute!), and I've been working on completing some assorted vampire & vamp romance series that I've gotten behind on. I pulled a big stack of vampire and horror novels out to make room, ones I've read or am just not inspired to read, I'm getting picky in my old age, so look for them on sale cheap in the next few days if I can get my act together.
The weather has gotten bad again so I spent almost $300 bucks at the grocery store tonight so we can eat in this week in style and not have to go out in the bloody freezing cold. I wish I had an electric blanket, I grew up using one year round and then in my 30's went through a period where I got bizarre hot flashes and night sweats so the idea of anything purposely hot turned me off for years. Seemed to be a bad reaction to a prescription medicine I was taking, the doctors never could give me a decent reason. It also began my bouts with rosacea, which majorly pisses me off because perfect white skin has always been my only real bragging right physically. I've tried some of the different drugs and creams for it, but I've found stimulus avoidance to help more than anything. That, and really good quality skin care products. My favorite sensitive skin care products are from Clarins. I use other brands occasionally, too, but I always go back to Clarins.
I'm dreading taking a shower tonight, I have to use the cold bathroom at the back of the house because the plumbing in my nice bathroom is acting up. We've been pouring Liquid Plumber down the drain, but I'm afraid it's a real certifiable plumber problem, the sink, bathtub and the toilet have all been acting weird. We've been in this house almost four years now and this will be the first "digging the ground up" plumbing problem we've had, hope it's not too bad. We don't have an outside drain entrance, which I'm not sure I understand becasue the people we bought the house from had three kids. But then, they didn't have cable TV either... We had constant battles with our cheap ass landlord at our last house because it constantly had sewer problems, had to replace the entire line once, he was not happy about that, too many old trees and invasive roots. Our last house only had one bathroom also, so when we had a problem, it really was an emergency.
We watched Primetime's special on the porn industry tonight, really interesting. It focused on a young Mormon girl who became a hardcore star in just a few years and all the hell the girls who work in the industry have to go through. The actresses really don't make that much for the work they do, Houston is like the strip bar capitol of the US, and from people I've spoken with that have worked in the industry here they make a pretty comparable salary and don't have to risk getting AIDS, etc. The poor girl they were interviewing tonight looked like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She started when she was 18... I can't imagine going through that period, but as a teenager? Luckily I've never wanted to be famous or beloved by millions, though rich wouldn't be a bad thing. This girl won an adult film award and she was still only pulling in about $100 grand a year max (as the top porn actress of the year?). Of course, the filmmakers and distributors make millions of dollars a year. Not to infer that there aren't some reputable erotica companies out there, but it sounds like the majority of them are just sex farms, using up and spitting girls out. The special said the average career of a porn actress was only 18 months.
Uggh, bracing myself to go use the icy shower (there's a damned window in the shower stall!). We have old fashioned gas heaters but can't really use them because of carbon monoxide problems, etc. There's a central air vent in the bathrooms (unlike our last house, which was really cold!), but it's teeny tiny... brrrrr... Soon I'll be whining about the weather being too hot, I can't wait!
Add your support to the virtual sit-in for the 30th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Read the other supporters messages regarding choice and leave your own, this is too important a right to let Bush's thugs take it away while no one is looking. If you haven't noticed, he has been hacking away steadily at our rights since he got in office, I think his people have a "do as much damage as possible in four years in case we don't get re-elected" agenda. No wonder the rest of the world is afraid of us...
I went through last night and added to and reorganized my links in the right column. I added more women's issues links, more liberal political links, a bunch of anti-war links and some self-defense links aimed at women, most of them pro-gun. I know that sounds like a weird contradiction... how can she be pro-peace, anti-war and pro-gun?? To me, self-defense has always been a very basic human right, like being able to choose what god(dess) to worship, and whether or not I want to have a child. I grew up around guns, and respect them as what they are, good for target practice and essential for self-defense in our modern world. I live in one of the largest cities in America, I worked in law enforcement for many years and I've seen both the damage and the good that guns can do. I also am trained to use one and know that if someone broke into our house and threatened me or my husband, I wouldn't think twice about defending us. If you are considering getting a gun for self-defense, that's the number one question you need to ask yourself, could I use it if needed? If not, invest in a good alarm system and some baseball bats. If you answered yes, take some classes, go to the range and get familiar with the weapon so it's not a mysterious taboo thing, just another tool that you need to respect, like your car. You wouldn't buy a car without knowing how to drive? It's a deadly weapon also, a woman here in Houston used her Mercedes to kill her husband just recently. Cars don't kill people, people kill people...
I worked apartment security during the early 80's and on many of my jobs we were not allowed to carry guns, but I did have a nice big patrol car. I always used to think "if someone steps out into the parking lot and aims a gun at me my only option is to flatten him". As the late great satirist Bill Hicks said, in response to the poor truck driver beat during the LA riots, "step on the fucking gas!". Not to lend support to the woman who ran over her husband, then backed over him, then ran over him again, then... She's a psycho, she was also being filmed by the PI's she hired to follow him, and her 16 year old step-daughter was in the car with her, talk about traumatized. All said though, if your choice is between being shot in the face by a bad guy (or worse, being kidnapped, raped and tortured) or going to court for possible manslaughter charges for running down a guy with a gun, there's not really much of a choice there, IMHO.
One of the more nicely done gun info sites aimed at women is Self-Defense - A Basic Human Right, it also has some really stunning visual propaganda images promoting gun ownership. If you've never been around real crime, or been a victim, I know the thought that you might actually need something as extreme as a gun to defend yourself is probably a fairly abstract idea, but you really are responsible for your own safety, waiting around for someone else to save you is not a very good option in real life. Take precautions, always be alert, at home and away, but having something solid to fall back upon if something does happen is not a bad idea. Not trying to scare anyone, I'd just rather err on the side of being overly prepared than suffer the consequences of not being so. I'm 5'1", l have a concealed-carry permit, and I've owned my own handgun since I was 21. I have a Smith & Wesson model 66 .357 for home protection, and target practice. If you're not going to carry it, get the 4 inch barrel, it's more accurate and easier to shoot. I have a 2 inch, in case I want to carry it, and I have a S&W airweight hammerless .38 as a carry gun, it's a lot lighter, but it's harder to shoot. I'm hoping I never have to shoot it anywhere but on a range. I prefer revolvers, they're the easiest to work with, they don't misfire very often. They also don't spit shell casings out in your face, and it's much harder to injure yourself because they have fewer dangerous moving parts (I cut my hand open on an automatic slide once, long story).
Alas, I'm coming down with some sort of sinus infection. The weather has gone from freezing to the high 70's in just a few days, I wonder why I'm sick all the time? I have that achy feeling in my ears and the back of my throat, I think I'll head to bed early tonight.
I was flipping the channels and happened upon Dr. Phil today, I don't usually watch him because most of his shows seemed to be aimed at resolving relationship problems, which can get kind of boring after awhile (and because he looks way too much like my ex-husband), but today he was doing a show on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I missed the first 15 minutes and could have kicked myself because I really enjoy psychology, I've often thought I should have been a psychologist, it's one of those things that comes fairly naturally to me, it helped a lot in my private security career. And also because I have always had OCD. I think most people have it to a degree, they just don't recognize it. I've often thought that mental health problems like OCD and depression are actually a sign of intelligence and creativity in many people. I think the psychological meter has depression and similar mental health disorders on one end, and complete sociopaths on the other end. The societal "norm" is to be somewhere in between. Frankly I'd rather be on the depressive end myself. One of the problems today is there are too many sociopaths who could frankly care less whether their neighbors lived or died, as long as it didn't affect them personally. Not that they're particularly cruel individuals, they're just oblivious to anything outside their own little self-centered lives.
To be able to succumb to depression or actually be obsessed about something indicates an awareness that the world is not such a cheery, perfect place. It has a lot of problems and there are a lot of unhappy, unhealthy people out there. Because of the high-end sociopaths (greedy CEO's, Republicans and other emotionless criminals, which are nothing new, they've just become more prolific and public in recent years) the quality of life has steadily declined for many people. The people who care are few and far between it seems, and the ones who do try and change the world around them often seem to barely impact the situation. Homelessness, joblessness, avoidable health problems, poor education, etc. are put on the back burner while grand idealogical plans receive an illogical amount of attention and funding in this bizarre alternate universe we exist in. That's my coping mechanism for getting through the current Republican regime, is that we are in a strange alternate universe and eventually the collective consciousness of America will see the truth of what's going on and eventually regain it's sense. We can only hope...
But this wasn't meant to be a political essay, I wanted to discuss OCD. The women featured on the show had fairly serious cases of it, one was a clean freak who was driving her family insane, and the other was both a germ freak and a compulsive hoarder (of toilet paper, used plastic bags, you name it). You'd think that if someone was obsessed with germs they wouldn't allow huge mounds of junk to accumulate in their house but this poor woman did. I realized years ago that I had to be really careful not to let this disorder overrun my life. I was raised by a mother who refused to sit on public toilets because of the germs, but I've also always had huge piles of assorted clutter that follow me around. My husband says I can make more trash than any woman he's ever known. I used to save everything, "just in case". I became overly organized out of necessity, keeping file boxes of receipts for way too long, too much mail, too many magazines, books, clothes. Then one day I learned the joy of throwing things away. It's also easy to get too carried away by doing that. I broke my shredder destroying years of unneeded documents. But getting rid of excess, unused stuff is very enlightening. I'm also very much a germ freak, BTW, mostly out of necessity to maintain my fragile health. I'm very aware of where my hands have been, and try and keep them away from my face when I'm out in public because I'm bad about touching my eyes and nose, and I'm a compulsive hand washer (I go through a lot of liquid soap and hand cream). I carry little handi-wipes around with me, put paper on public toilet seats, never touch doors and water faucets without a paper towel. Over the years I have found that just realizing what is causing my irrational behavior, mentally telling myself it's just my OCD talking, or depression, or PMS, etc. helps me to cope. Also SSRI's like Prozac and Paxil don't hurt.
But, of course, it all tends to creep back. I can clean my desk, file all the important stuff, throw the junk away, and within a week I'll have new piles of stuff everywhere. I try to go through the piles and either file or toss them at least once a week. I've tried to teach myself over the years to organize efficiently, to ruthlessly discard things that have no use, and to try and develop regular habits to try and automatically maintain things in some semblance of order. I put things in the same place when I've finished using them, purse, keys, pens, pencils, glasses, jewelry, clothing, remote controls, etc. I get really frustrated and feel very helpless when I can't find something. So I consciously make sure everything on my desk is in it's logical place before I turn the computer off for the day. I have a folder full of programs I back up each day also, before I shut the computer off, my email files, bookmarks, my eBay records, things I've lost to crashes before and can't do without...
I've spent a lot of money over the years on organization "stuff", and have taught myself to actually use it. It also helps to cut down on my dusting and cleaning. I have plastic drawers to keep my shoes clean, clear plastic shoulder protectors to keep my nice blouses and coats from getting dusty, big zip up clear garment bags for coats and things I don't wear much, large sealed plastic boxes in my closet and under my bed for off season clothes, dividers for my clothing, kitchen, bathroom, office. I favor clear plastic and acrylic storage items just so I can actually see what I own, I have so much stuff I tend to forget what I have. I have 11 bookcases just in my home office (aka our living/dining room) alone. All books are grouped by type and the ones I use most are close to my desk. I have two file cabinets and 4 or 5 portable file boxes for overflow. I even organize my assorted piles of stuff. I've taught myself not to leave things like receipts lying around to catch dust on my bedroom nightstand, they all go in either a big envelope to be filed or in one specific file on my desk for current things like bills. When I'm out and in a hurry, I try and stick any receipts I accumulate through the day in the same pocket in my purse or wallet so I can pull them all out when I'm done and file them or record them in my checkbook. I bought a nice desk planner and use it and the calendar on my email progam (Entourage) to remind me when things are due. I couldn't exist without post-it notes, I stick them in my Dayrunner, on my computer where I have to notice them, in my wallet where I can see them... I have a little mini Dayrunner in my purse, very small, with a phone directory, places for notes and blank pages to put random notes on. If you're on a budget, your local office supply store has generic binders (and loose leaf paper) in the same sizes as many of the expensive planners, so you can just buy the inserts like calendars and phone directories and assemble the rest yourself. I've also found some fabulous deals at Dayrunner's clearance site, I get the loose leaf planners so I can add my own refills. I keep a phone book directory with my computer passwords, etc. in them alphabetically so I can actually find them when I want to buy something online, etc. If you don't want to put things like that in a binder, a Rolodex file works really well for random information, if you're on the computer all day a simple searchable data file is also great (check out iData Pro). Just doing little things like tossing junk mail as I open it helps. Experts say you should never deal with incoming items more than once, either resolve/answer it, toss it, file it, or pass it onto the person who sould be dealing with it (at work or home). That's a good theory with emails also if you get tons of it, delete it, answer it or file it, don't let it back up on you.
I know all of this organizing and sorting sounds complicated, but it actually helps me to simplify my life. I know I'll always have too much stuff, both my husband and I are born collectors, I have thousands of books, he has thousands of videos and DVD's, we both have tons of music also. He collects movie paper, I collect postcards, we both collected toys for awhile but we've gotten really selective now because our house is way past full. Our attic and closets are packed with toys in unopened packages, but at least they're all nicely packed in big boxes. I deliberately stayed away from eBay when it first began because I knew when I started looking at things I'd never be able to stop. Luckily my husband is not proficient with the computer, but he has learned how to search for things on eBay, and we both have spent way too much money. It's much too easy. I sell mostly now, but I'm trying really hard to restrain my buying habits both out of lack of places to put things and lack of money to spend, it adds up frighteningly fast.
Right now our house is actually fairly clean, semi-dusted and picked up after the holiday chaos. Because of my allergies I try and do an entire room at once to just get the dust and sneezing over with. I'm trying to keep everything from piling back up again. Deep inside me I long to have one of those sparse minimalist mid-century modern homes like the ones I ogle in magazines, but I know it will never happen. My parents claim they have too much stuff, but their home has always been very sleek and uncluttered.
Suggested activity, to save you some money go to the library (or even a bookstore where you can sit and drink capuccino while you read) and pick up a stack of books on home organization, closets, etc., and flip through them to get ideas before you go and spend a fortune at the Container Store or Office Depot. Try and get an idea of what would would actually be useful to you, also make sure to measure and write down specs. Get catalogues for organization stores or flip through their websites before you buy, get an idea of what's out there and who has the best prices (more links below for ideas). Places like Walmart and Target also offer low-cost storage, as well as office gadgets. A good book that is actually worth buying is Organizing From the Inside Out� by Julie Morgenstern. An excellent book with lots of specific diagrams and photos is Closets - Designing and Organizing the Personalized Closet by Patricia Coen and Bryan Milford.
More OCD links:
Obsessive Compulsive Foundation
Obsessive Compulsive Information Center
OCD Newsgroup
National Institute of Mental Health's OCD Page
Take an OCD screening test
More organization links:
Clutterbug.net
Get Organized Now
Organized Home.com
Get Organized Online
Organize Everything
So You Wanna Organize Your Closet?
Daytimer.com
Addition 1/16 - I found myself wandering around Lowe's tonight (we just got one in our neighborhood) and they have an AMAZING selection of affordable home organization and closet stuff.
Made it through the day with no real incidents, dinner was wonderful, and I was promised a new garage door opener, to be purchased next week. Our Chinese restaurant is undergoing even more expansions and adding a new facade, they've added a party area that will hold another 400 people. I had my favorite dinner, beef with green onions and ginger (#202, it's also awesome with oysters). The drive to the restaurant and back takes us through our old neighborhood, so we stopped at Baskin-Robbins on the way back and got ice cream just to be total gluttons. I'm weird about cold foods (I was born with sensitive teeth), so I always get mine in a bowl to go so I can spend an hour working on it when I get home. My husband finished his on the way home in the car. I got two of my winter favorites, eggnog and nutty coconut, and my usual scoop of mint chocolate chip.
I got up early this afternoon and ran my errands to the post office, the bank, then spent part of my Xmas gift certificate at Bed Bath & Beyond and got a new "quiet" hairdryer I'd been wanting. I played with it when I got home, it really is nice and quiet, though I'm wondering how fast it will dry my hair. It's one of those Ion dryers, which claims to have "the power of ionic energy reduces frizz, dulling and static to create a stunning hairstyle", I'll let you know ;-) I got a stack of nice wooden hangers also, I'm slowly trying to replace all the plastic ones I amassed while working in retail. I'm a closet freak anyway, any excuse to get closet and organization stuff and I'm there.
Then I drove to Whole Foods and found to my pleasure that my favorite bottled green tea was on sale and they actually had a bunch of it in stock, so I bought tons of it and also their Yerba Mate tea. The nice people at Clif Bar sent me one of their new Mojo bars in the mail yesterday so I bought some of them too. I usually prefer PowerBars, but the new Clif Bar flavors are actually salty instead of sweet. Most of my favorite salty snacks are a no-no on the Atkins Diet, so I thought these would be a decent trade off and maybe keep me from consuming half a box of Wheat Thins.
What other exciting things did I do today... oh yes, I stopped at yet another grocery store on the way home to pick up a bunch of prescriptions and some "real" food for dinner this week. I'm so pissed at myself, I had meant to call a bunch of refills in at the end of December so I wouldn't be slammed with a new co-pay from my overpriced insurance, and I forgot until the 31'st and the damn pharmacy closed early that day and I missed out. So I spent $100+ for four meds today and only about $25 of it went to my co-pay :-( My husband and I have only had individual insurance for about a year now, and it's really confusing, they didn't even pay for our physicals, "no preventative care" coverage, huh?? Of course we didn't find this out till the day we showed up and the nice lady at Kelsey-Seybold informed us of it
What else, oh yes, I got a wild hair and ended up dumping all of my old nasty cooking ingredients and washing all my nice glass cannisters. I've got nothing left but white sugar. I was looking for a more convenient place to put all my bottled drinks than in the garage and realized I had a whole cabinet going to waste full of four year old flour and baking soda. One more thing to restock next time I go to the grocery store. I bake about once a year so it's about time I restocked. Now I need to work on replacing my ancient bottles of spices, they cost a lot more to replace, though.
Off to bed to read...
I try really hard to keep my life fairly simple, especially when it comes to clothing. I spent the majority of 2002 wearing basically the same pair of pants. Well, actually I had about 8 pairs of the same style. I am 5'1" with like a 28" inseam and have spent all of my life hemming pants to fit me. I'm also short-waisted so most misses pants hit me in the ribcage. Imagine my joy last year when I actually found comfortable and flattering all purpose black cotton knit pants that didn't drag on the ground. I found them at Old Navy, bought a few pairs in black and grey, took them home and wore them a few days, then went back and bought every pair they had left in my size. Needless to say after non-stop wearing (I do own some other pants that fit but none are near this comfy), they were beginning to show their age.
I had to make a visit to the nearest mall for packing supplies for Ebay (more of a shopping village really, no covered area to wander around), and next door to OfficeMax is an Old Navy. So knowing how retail seasons work, I decided to check and see if they had received any new Spring 2003 items, and eureka! They had just put several racks of my favorite pants out and they were actually on sale (well, by a dollar off at least). At the stores the hang tag says women's yoga capris, though I just checked on their website and they're listed as women's cropped yoga pants. They carry several other longer, wider legged "yoga" pants but these are nice and staight-legged. I used to wear a lot of wider legged pants, but make me look even shorter than I actually am and I'm tired of catching my shoe in the damn things and tripping.
(Click more to see my other favorite year round basics for picky & hard to fit people)
The pants are identical this year except for a minor improvement, the embroidered logo is in the same color as the pants, last year it was contrasting. So I snatched up five pairs in black and two in grey, and I even picked up two pairs in black one size smaller than I wore last year. They're a tiny bit tight in the thighs, but I thought they'd make nice leggings for around the house. I'll probably go back for a few more pairs of black in the larger size before they're all gone. Old Navy's seasonal clothing, especially anything in basic black, tends to have a very short shelf life.
I know all this sounds obsessive, but anyone who's hard to fit should consider my weird ideas. Since I wear mostly black and grey (OK, I have a few tees that are actual colors and not neutrals), even when I was working 9-5 no one actually noticed that I was basically wearing the same style pants almost every day. I also have favorite socks, there's no direct link to my favorite style which is Gold Toe's Morpul Slouch (get the ones that have a higher cotton content, the nylon/poly ones are itchy), which work as perfect knee highs for me, I have big calves from years of riding horses and later bodybuilding. This style keeps my legs warm without being too hot :-) Gold Toe also makes my favorite summer sock.
As boring as it sounds, I also have a favorite style of underwear, and I won't tell you how many pairs of them I bought when I found them ;-) They're also terrific for short waisted women and for anyone with sensitive skin because they have no seams and no elastic band. Believe me, being able to just reach into my closet and know that any pair of pants, socks or undies I grab will fit correctly and match whatever else I'm wearing is a huge luxury.
So I've gone through and bagged up most of my faded pants from last year to donate to charity. I used to hate to throw anything away, but now I actually enjoy tossing things. I have too much stuff I never wear or use, over the years I've either sold my extras on Ebay or given them to charity. I still have a lot of nice work clothing that I've kept "just in case", but most of my silk blouses went the way of Ebay.
I need to get a few more basic items before I run out of money so I can toss some more old faded & pilled tees, etc. I found several really excellent quality tees at a local "outdoorsy" store a few years ago (Wilderness something?) by Woolrich and Royal Robbins. (Hey, the long-sleeved Woolrich tee is on sale! Still no black, but I have the charcoal grey and it's gorgeous) I also got a nice oversized tee from Land's End and a wonderful nightgown, which is another weird picky subject for me. I don't want a bunch of scratchy lace, seams or buttons poking me while I'm trying to sleep. So that's my next shopping adventure, more nice tees and summer nighties.
Here's hoping 2003 is better than 2002. Of course, I said that last year too, and technically it was a better year I suppose. No one flew planes into any more buildings, but friends of ours lost their jobs, died, had surgery...
We stayed in this evening, watched a video (But I'm a Cheerleader, cute movie and my husband enjoyed all the lesbian stuff ;-), and we spent the rest of the evening watching the Insomniac marathon on Comedy Central. I still haven't seen the one where he came to Houston, but they did rerun the New Orleans episode, which we missed the first half of.
I made a White Russian with rum because I realized I had no vodka, I like rum better anyway. And I'll mix about anything with Kahlua, one of my favorite sickeningly sweet drinks is to mix Kahlua and Coke.
My husband and I stepped out on the porch at midnight and listened to the sound of gunfire (is that a Texas tradition or what??), saw a few real fireworks. I noticed later it seems really foggy outside, don't know if it's the weather or just gunpowder.
I got a little money for my birthday so I did a little online shopping this evening. Did a bit yesterday also, but more on that tomorrow. I'm really picky about most of the things I buy, especially things I use on a daily basis, so I bought my annual 2 Michael diCesare hairbrushes from QVC, I was going to buy some Joey New York eyeshadow too, but they charge way too much for shipping. QVC seems to have an exclusive on the hairbrushes, I found one at Neiman's or Sak's years ago and have been hooked ever since. I have long, fine, wavy hair and the oval cushion brush works like a charm. Warning, though, the bristles are a bit stiff for people with shorter hair, my husband can't use the thing, he claims it hurts. I have a sensitive scalp and it's fine for me, which is fine because I don't like sharing brushes.
I also bought some more of my favorite beef jerky, this guy is awesome, check him out. Since I'm "trying" to stick to low carbs and high protein eating, this is one of my favorite snacks. I've been eating way too much junk food lately, blame it on holiday stress.
Off to bed hopefully befor the dog wakes up and wants to get up and wander aimlessly again. We spent about 10 minutes out in the freezing cold earlier while she ambled to the farthest edges of the yard and then finally sat down and wouldn't get up so I had to put my shoes on and go get her. I wish I could pick her up and just carry her like my hubby does, but she's almost as big as me...
For some reason I hardly ever do Halloween costumes actually based on anyone in particular, ditto for this year. After physically injuring myself walking all four corners of Memorial City mall (which is half in the dark due to construction), and going into every store that might have any kind of women's clothing, I end up buying and outfit at Foley's that's twice what I wanted to spend and not "really" a costume, but it was too cool to pass up. Sheer black lace, high necked blouse and matching long black lace skirt (by Be, a new brand for Foley's). Never could find any big clunky Goth shoes like I wanted (for less than $100), so it's back to my own pointy boots this year, hope the hooks don't snag on the skirt.
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I tried two slightly different versions of eye makeup (so I'm lopsided in the pics above), and I found a pair of cute black cat ears that I'd bought a few years ago and never worn, I think they look cute with the wig. (And they might help keep it on ;-) I'm glad the party's at our house, I'd hate to go traipsing out in the rain with this whole outfit on, it's been flooding all week...
Another reason for the makeup test is to make sure nothing makes my eyes swell up, I have hyper-sensitive skin. So far, so good... I used to line the inside of my eyes when I was younger (while wearing contacts even), but alas no more. Just lining the inside corners is a gamble.
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Makeup used for this experiment:
For shadows on eyes, MAC Black Tied (glittery black), and MAC Electra (silver frost). On eyelid - Urban Decay Vapor (flourescent blue white), and on brow Anna Sui 002 (softer shimmery white, used on right eye). I tried the MAC electra for lid and brow but it was way too shiny for my prominent browbone (used on left eye). Looked good on the lids, but the Urban Decay popped more on my deepset eyes.
Lined with Lancome's eyeliner in Noir then covered over with MAC Nehru (matte black), and the inside corners with Almay's eye pencil in Precise Black. I'll probably do mascara or fake lashes for the big party, but didn't want to mess with them now. Eyebrows are done with Maybelline Natural brow pencil (I think I'll go with the natural arch, rather than the pointy one).
I'll use some real foundation and concealer too, for now I just went with Hard Candy's Crystal Pressed Powder which is almost white but not too clownish. Lips were done in and old Estee Lauder Double Matte color, Berry Buff. They had a little more shimmery one in a darker version of the same shade called Fatale which I almost used, but I think the matte looks better. And not that I actually need to accent my cheekbones, but I tried doing a little bit of shadow on my right side with another old Trish McEvoy color, Enhancer 8 (sort of a purple brown shade).
And despite all my best efforts at skin care this week... I have a damn pimple! (And yes, I know, I own way too much makeup ;-)
I've decided I shouldn't try to do Alice Cooper as a costume this year. I'm not thin enough yet (I've got the cheekbones, but I'm not gaunt enough to do Alice justice, IMHO), and I have a really killer leather motorcycle jacket and pants that would just really freak out my friends, but I need to stay on the Atkins diet a little longer to be able to fit back into them. This pic was taken in my 20's when I actually owned a motorcycle (a black Suzuki Intruder) and so of course I had to get the accessories to go with it to look cool.
I'd kind of like to do a Perky Goth sort of thing (ala Switchblade Sisters) with the pony tails and a cute outfit and shoes or boots with lots of buckles, etc. My hair is long enough, but it's pretty fine and so far I haven't been happy with how it looks pulled up. I'm terrible at doing my hair, I have no clue what to do with hairsprays and gels (I hate the stuff). I think it's because my mom always went to the salon every week to have her hair done so no one ever really showed me how. I looke around for a wig online and haven't found anything like what I'm looking for, though Divaluxe� has some nice clip-ons and falls (I think it may be too late to order them for this Halloween, though). I bought a terrific long straight black and electric blue wig last year, I think I'm going to play with it and see if I can style it the way I want it.
The shoes should be easy, and some kind of funky hose. I haven't found a dress I like yet, though. I dragged my husband to Erotic Cabaret Boutique� in Montrose this weekend and they had a few "maybes" but most of them were Extra Small. They had some really great long goth dresses and capes, but I wanted to do short this year. I even thought of braving a corset or waist-cincher to really look good, but I didn't find any short enough to let me breath. I think I'm missing a vertebra, I have the shortest waist I've ever seen, anything high-waisted hits me in the rib cage (sigh).
My back-up costume will probably be Magenta from Rocky Horror, I can do a very convincing version of her. I used to go and hang out with the local RHPS cast in high school and college, and back when I had time to sew had made a black satin maid's dress and even the gold space outfit (both long gone). I looked for a French maid's outfit, but the only ones they had were way too sheer. I always wait till the last minute to get my costume together. I got lucky last year and found a great dress at Foley's (on sale even!) that I used for a "classy Elvira" outfit. I got the beehive wig and everything, it was a pain in the butt from the wig down to the heels, but it looked really great.
FYI ladies, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month (see the link on the right sidebar and ones below). Sort of a busy time to get a physical, but a good time to make an appointment if you haven't been to the doctor in awhile. Once a year, whether you need it or not... Ironically, mine and my husband's annual physicals were scheduled for September but the doctor couldn't make it so now we're at the end of October.
To all the young people (and too busy people) out there, if you've got insurance take advantage of it and get all of your annual checkups. Being self-employed now, I no longer have nice, affordable company insurance and have to pay for my own now, so use it while you've got it. I've lost too many relatives and friends too young to diseases that could have been prevented.
The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation�
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month�
Help fund mammograms with just a click�
Banned Books Week begins this morning, it runs September 21st-28th. I saw a nice display for it at our local Half Price Books the other day and even a small display at Barnes & Noble this evening. Since my first job was as a library assistant, this subject is close to my heart. I still can't believe we have a need to even argue the whole point of free speech, but then I don't understand why middle-aged white men stand in picket lines in front of abortion clinics... Actually I do, it's because they're afraid the white race is dying out because of women like me who don't want to accidentally get pregnant and just "have to have it", we actually want to plan life altering events like pregnancy. I've been one of those people who has always known I'm not mother material, I'm finally at the age now where people have pretty much stopped bothering me. The anti-choice people will argue that they want to save lives, but there a million other truly humane things they could do other than harrass (and kill) doctors and patients, like maybe adopt some of the thousands of children who are already in the world and need homes. My brother and I were both adopted, it worked nicely for us.
OK, off the soapbox (for now ;-). I picked up a copy of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 a few months ago after seeing part of the film on TV. Somehow I was never required to read it in school, and had never seen the movie, but it seems appropriate reading material for this week. Let's see, what other thought provoking selections can I pull from my bookshelves... I have a preference for female writers, so here are some of my favorites:
Shirley Jackson is my all-time favorite author, good ones for this week would be The Road Through the Wall, We Have Always Lived in the Castle, The Bird's Nest, and of course, The Haunting of Hill House. Also worth reading is her hilarious novel about raising her own children, Life Among the Savages.
Alice Hoffman is incredible, try Practical Magic (in an entirely different league than the movie "based" on the book), or the disturbing Here On Earth.
Another female writer with a very unique style is Valerie Martin. Mary Reilly, Alexandra, The Great Divorce (look for used or check the link, it's apparently being reprinted in February 2003), and Set In Motion are all excellent (the last two are set in New Orleans, which always adds points to a book for me, it's my favorite city ;-)
Ann Arensberg's Sister Wolf has happily been reprinted because of the release of Incubus (which I own but haven't read yet). Sister Wolf is a terrific book, really hard to describe.
Carol O'Connell has one of the smartest, toughest female detective in literature in her character Kathy Mallory. I've read about half of the series, I discovered it four novels into it and was hooked. Chronologically it's: Mallory's Oracle, The Man Who Cast Two Shadows, Killing Critics, Stone Angel (my favorite), Shell Game and Crime School. She also has another novel that's not part of the series (in my "to read" stack) that's gotten great reviews, Judas Child.
There are many more novels I'm not mentioning (don't flame me for leaving your favorite out!), but I'm just going by what I've read in recent years and what has personally touched me. Most of my reading is actually vampire & horror novels, and lots of non-fiction, but that's for another day.
