What did I do today? I slept, damned near all day. It stormed all day here and I haven't had even a semi-normal night's sleep in weeks so today seemed like a good day to just sleep. Then when I got up and flipped over to the watch the news while I ate a bowl of cereal, it hit me what day it is. I'd just spent the entire day in a state of oblivion, which isn't such a bad thing.
What was I doing 2 years ago? Ironically, my husband and I got up very early that morning because we had our annual physicals scheduled for that morning. He got up before I did and turned on the TV and came running in to tell me that a plane had hit the World Trade Center, which got me out of bed immediately. We were both sitting there watching when the second plane hit and we knew the world as we knew it had been irrevocably changed. Still, we had doctor's appointments to get to. We continued watching as the first tower fell, and then in the car driving over, we heard that the second tower had fallen also. In a surreal state of mine, we went and signed in for our appointments, and when we were called in, the nurses and doctors were all running around worried, speculating on what else would happen today. There were rumors that a passenger plane had been lost from radar in the Houston area, we heard bits and pieces about the Pentagon being hit, and the fourth plane which had crashed in a field.
In the months following 9/11, I participated in eBay's "Auction for America", which helped to raise money for different 9/11 charities. I donated costume jewelry and other items to help. I also sort of lost my sense of fear and began spending too much money and not really worrying about the consequences. My brain went into a "live for today" sort of mode and stayed there for well over a year. My actual sense of unreality began with the 2000 Presidential election, and 9/11 just seemed to sort of cement it into place that the end of civilization as we knew it had begun. I can't really say I was afraid, suburban Houston doesn't seem like much of a target for terrorists, but I knew that alternate reality world had begun. We never went as far as the duct tape route, but I did stop by Academy and buy some extra bullets in the days following 9/11. And we put up the flag my parents had given us years before (still new in it's package) on the front of our house where it stayed until the mounting finally got wobbly, and we were so disgusted with what had happened in the government that by that time we wanted to take it down.
No, 9/11 didn't frighten me for my own safety. It deeply saddened me, my husband had stayed at the WTC Marriott several times during the 90's, the Dark Shadows convention that he normally went to annually had just taken place in August 2001 at the World Trade Center, he didn't go that year. I just kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, the sense of "something else is coming" would not go away. It's still there hovering in the back of my mind today. A sense of unease, and the continuing feeling of enjoy today, just in case.
All I can hope is that the world will someday get back on track, especially the US. I thought that 9/11 might have shocked the average American into realizing what a mess the world had become, but instead it prompted people to put American flags on their SUV's, and buy even bigger cars to "protect" themselves. The story goes that US intelligence knew about the strike on Pearl Harbor in advance, but they allowed it to happen to shock the isolationistic Americans into participating in WWII to literally help "save the world" from the path it was on. And it worked. But in the self-centered, ego and power driven society of today I don't know if anything will put us on the right path again.
Just thinking of the damage the Bush administration has managed to wreak in just a few short years, we've managed to go from a balanced budget to the largest deficit in history. From a seemingly happy normal world to a virtual depression of unemployment and despair. From a land of free speech to a land of suppression and hostility towards those of us who disagree. Our civil rights are being continually stripped away from us in the name of "our own good".
To finish this rant off, a few words of wisdom from Benjamin Franklin:
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."