I was a big student of Weimar Germany growing up, and as a psychology buff was fascinated with how the people "let" Hitler rise to power and get as far as he did so quickly. A large part of it was that no one believed that a "civilized person" would actually do the things he did, but we've seen in the last four years how fast a "civilized country" can be deceived. At least Hitler did not do it under the guise of religion, but instead preyed on the anger and frustration of a once proud country who had gotten their asses kicked in WWI and were now destitute and had been forcibly humbled by the winners. So Hitler promised, pride, prosperity and power to the embittered German people. Then when he got the ball rolling, he relied on fear and threats to keep people in line.

My parents had lived in Germany while my dad was in the service during the occupation after WWII and I grew up with their stories of the people (and bitter cold, frozen toilets). And for the last 40 or so years there has been a picture frame collage full of discarded Nazi coins hanging in my parents den over the TV. They picked them up literally out of the streets because they were worthless after the war and had been discarded in disgust by the German people.

A really well known psychic once told me (without knowing my fascination with WWII era Europe) that my last past life ended in the 1930's in France when the Nazis invaded and I was targeted because I was a loud-mouthed opponent of the Nazi party who worked somewhere in the entertainment or media field and apparently people listened to me so I was one of the first to be taken out. (The Randi Rhodes of WWII, perhaps ;-) I don't know if I believe it, but when she told me it made me cry because it really rang true. And I've spent a large portion of my life trying to protect and warn people, and honestly speak my mind. Now I just do it from the internet instead of in a uniform with a patrol car...

When I was studying German language in high school, our teacher also worked a lot of history into the lessons. One of the things that stuck in my mind was a short verse by Martin Niemoller, which seems really appropriate for this bizarre mindset we're sinking even deeper into now. I was worried that after the election (and a Kerry victory) that the country would go back to being apathetic instead of vigilent, but we don't have that luxury anymore...

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist; Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist; Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist; Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew; Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Sparky woke me up this morning to tell me Kerry was about to give his "concession speech". I honestly got the same feeling I did when he woke me up to tell me an airplane had flown into the World Trade Center. Really. I'm not exaggerating. And yes it's a fair analogy, thousands of people have died because of the insane group of people that are running our country.

And poor Sparky. OMG, he's been so fatalistic all day. He actually believes that the country actually agrees with the fundamentalist psycho fear mentality that we are living under. He almost made me believe it. But I don't, I can't, I honestly don't believe the majority of America is that stupid and superstitious. I can't believe people stood in the rain for seven hours to keep the country exactly the way it is. No jobs, no healthcare, people dying daily in a fake war, a fascist monarch regime... I'd lose my mind it I actually believed that. I'm the one who can't watch movies without questioning "how could they do that?" "why would they react that way?". I'm too logical, it drives Sparky nuts, I just have a great deal of difficulty turning my brain off, even to watch a movie.

I'm not a conspiracy nut, it's just so fricking obvious from the results THAT THEY CHEATED! If you know ANYTHING about computers, you know it's not hard to do rig the stupid things. And they would do anything, including starting a war for no good reason, to stay in power. I'm even wondering if they had something to do with the Osama video ('you won't be safe no matter who wins') I worked in the middle of the corporate greed and power trip in the 90's so I saw it all up close and personal. And it scared the crap out of me.

I'm listening to the rebroadcast of Randi Rhodes on Air America right now and she is expressing the righteous anger and disbelief that I know a huge portion of the country is feeling. She really is a goddess, she's been fighting for our rights since the 2000, she lived in Florida in 2000 and experienced the voter fraud personally. She gives me hope and keeps my brain focused. I'm looking at the little sticker I put on the side of my scanner, which I pulled off my tee shirt when I got home yesterday that says "My vote counted", it's making me nauseous. Sparky pulled our yard sign down and ripped all of the stickers off of both of our cars before I woke up today. I really wanted to keep mine. I still have an unused one, thankfully it's still on my desk...

There is already so much evidence of vote tampering it's making my head spin:

Voting boxes here in Texas that flipped straight Democratic votes to Bush-Cheney (oh look, those are the same machines we used here in Houston)

More purging of voters in Florida

25 million NEGATIVE votes pop up in Youngstown, Ohio

We've got to do something to change this screwed up system. Now. They knew that it was almost all going to be untraceable, as did John Kerry apparently when he gave up. My father was speculating on the potential for future civil unrest and violence because of the frustrations of this mess. If we thought it was bad before, we ain't seen nothing yet. And the intelligent MAJORITY of this country now has to spend another four years fighting apathy, stupidity and fear.

And I was really, really looking forward to just the POSSIBILITY of things like health insurance, the return of common sense, a decent economy and possibly world peace.

One last attempt to help this mess before bed, I was reading the thread of fired up, frustrated and pissed off Dems on Democratic Underground and one of the ideas listed was to donate to Kerry's Legal fund so I forked over some more money. I'm self-employed with bad health and no insurance so if I can donate something towards this cause a lot of you kids can too. I've been giving since the Dean days whether I could afford it or not, despite my husband's comments that I was "wasting my money" and I haven't regretted a dime of it. And I'm VERY glad both of our boys are lawyers, it can't hurt.

Now another attempt at going to bed, Ambien take me away...

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Always has been, always will be. I just hate all the crap that's going on at Halloween time this year. Our party went well enough, and somehow we managed to come out exactly right with the candy for the kids this year even though I was generous and several kids double-dipped. We only had two incidents, one a crying kid refuding candy because his father reprimanded him for ringing the doorbell three times, and the other a scuffle with a bunch of overly enthusiastic 8 year olds who ended up knocking over one of our lighted porch figures and falling into our bushes spilling candy all over the ground. Which caused their adult escort to come running out of her car offering to pay for anything damaged (just a broken bulb, it's OK).

Then Monday comes and my dad calls Sparky because they've got water leaking out of the walls in a closet. Which apparently has been going on long enough to cause mildew to grow all over the walls, yuck. And the water leaked under the wall into the adjoining dining room. What a mess, like they haven't been through enough crap lately. Neither one of them can hardly walk right now, my dad can't breathe and now they've got fans blowing gunk all over their house to try and dry the remaining carpet out and people tearing moldy sheetrock up. The same thing happened to me when I lived in a townhouse in Austin, my neighbor decided to install his own washing machine, which promptly drained through my kitchen right into my den. The fans blew dirt all over my house. My parents problem is due to a leftover AC condensation drain that wasn't rerouted properly when that part of the house was remodeled from garage into an extra wing of the house, and stopped up. We have a similar problem in our middle bedroom where AC condensation drips out of one of the air vents when it's really hot and humid outside.

What else happened on Monday... Oh yeah, it rained all fricking day! And all night! And into Tuesday... Not just rain, flooding, earth shattering thunder and lightning. Monday night the power actually went out (while I was in the middle of a long blog entry) so I gave up and took a nap. So I couldn't sleep Monday night. I'm considering going to bed earlier tonight,my brain hurts from all the election crap today and I feel a sinus infection coming on, good grief, that's what I need, to be dizzy on top of everything. And I know Sparky won't let me sleep on Wednesday, he's going to be way too freaked out...

Well, after a completely sleepless night/morning, Sparky woke me up at 9:30 in hopes we could hit our voting place in between rushes. And we did, it was like 20 minutes total, as opposed to most of our friends who voted early and faced long, slow lines (one friend was over 90 minutes). We actually stopped by our early voting station last Thursday and decided to wait and vote on election day because of the slew of people that were waiting. But then I'm in Texas, where no one cares enough about our vote to bother with us (hopefully), and in other states people are spending 6 and 7 hours waiting.

But alas, patience is going to be a huge factor again it seems. Here we go again, hopefully with different results this time, this time perhaps ALL of the ballots will actually be counted. There are already allegations of voter fraud in, of course, Ohio and Florida, which is really apparent because those are the only two states where the results of the exit polls are way off (in Dubya's favor, imagine that).

Black Box Voting also issued a warning on 11/1 for polling places to disconnect their modems and manually bring the boxes in to be counted because they had evidence of hackers targeting the central computers counting our votes.

There's definitely something fishy going on, all of the millions of new voters did not register to keep Dubya in office. That goes against logic, though the Neocons whole campagn is completely at odds with logic. But here at 2am, Ohio voters are STILL standing in line to vote (yes, really), so everyone hang in there. As John Edwards said this evening, we've waited four years, we can wait another day. Or eleven...

I'm still up listening to Air America, which is helping to keep me sane. Sparky is passed out and snoring thankfully. It's been really hard trying to keep both his and my spirits up for the last four years, and he spent most of the evening watching MSNBC, who like Fox, are calling states early in favor of Dubya again. On the other hand Dan Rather is being the cautious, pragmatic one (he actually learns from experience unlike our current administration who proudly repeat their mistakes).

I'm glad I decided to take a semi-break from eBay this week, it's going to be difficult to concentrate until this is all sorted out. And somehow I don't see hordes of people shopping this week, unless it's out of manic depression (I've binged financially that way myself, especially after 9/11). But I've got lots of little mindless, comforting things I can do this week... take photos of things to get ready to list, I've got a whole file cabinet worth of stuff to sort and two new boxes of pretty colored files and my new Brother P-Touch to make legible labels (my handwriting is anything but legible). Unfortunately, Phoebe thinks an open file cabinet is an invitation to explore, I've actually closed her inside twice now which scares the crap out of me. She's been sensing the rising tension the last few days and has been extra snuggly and attentive.

Just heard of a website set up to keep everyone updated on the misadventures of this election and to help frustrated voters take action. Thank Al Gore for the internet, to give us immediate access to this constantly changing world and not making us slaves to the networks...

Double check your polling place, look in your local newspaper or click here

And courtesy of the Democratic National Committee:

VOTER BILL OF RIGHTS Know Your Rights | Exercise Your Right to Vote

Voting is the most direct way for you to affect your government - don't let anyone deprive you of this precious right! Read through the list below and be aware of your rights before you go to the polls, and use the information below if you encounter any harassment or intimidation.

:: You are entitled to vote without being harassed or intimidated by anyone.

:: Bring personal identification with you to the polls (driver's license, government ID, bank statement or utility bill).

:: If you forget your ID, you can still vote. In some states, all you need to do is sign an affidavit. In others, you can vote by provisional ballot.

:: If records show you have moved, you can vote by signing an address confirmation.

:: If you are in line at the polling place before the polls close, you can vote.

:: You have the right to receive a demonstration of voting equipment before voting.

:: If you are disabled or are over the age of 65, you have the right to an accessible polling place and help in voting.

:: If anyone challenges your right to vote :

Talk to the Voting Rights attorney at your polling place.

Ask for the name of the person who is denying you the right to vote and write it down.

Ask to talk to a supervisor and lodge a complaint.

Too tired to type, we just had our big annual Halloween party, Sparky just went to bed and I'm headed there now that the house is back to it's popcorn-free state ;-) Lots of people, lots of energy in the air tonght, you could tell everyone needed a party. The kitty stayed in hiding in the bedroom all night so she was anxious to come out and explore at 2 am when everyone left. We rushed around to pick up all of the costume residue, feathers, and crushed M&M's etc before she could get to them.

And we've got the wonderful fall time change tonight, so it's actually my normal 6am bedtime right now, but Sparky should be sleeping much later than usual. My monitor has been blinking like crazy tonight so if I disappear for a day or so that will be why.

I got lucky and found one of my black velvet gothic dresses that I hadn't worn since 1998 (and still fit) and I wore it with my most comfortable granny boots but by the end of the night I had several large blisters and my feet have completely given out. I really miss having wall to wall carpet at times like these (sigh).

I'll put a few pics up when I've recovered. My main goal for Sunday, other than to sleep late and hand out candy, is to try and get all of my eBay stuff for the weekend packed to mail out on Monday. I told myself I wasn't going to have any auctions ending this weekend, but I did anyway.

And Tuesday I don't want to have to worry about anything but going to vote (and watching the results). We actually went to one of the early voting places the other evening, but there were like 100+ people in line and the wait was outdoors, so we decided just to go to our neighborhood elementary (which I actually attended!) so I can wax nostalgic and we can wait in the air conditioning. I'm hoping we'll get lucky and everyone in our neighborhood has already voted early or by absentee (I can dream, can't I?).

Off to see if I still have my Origins peppermint foot cream, tonight would be a good time to use some...