Moooo... trample, trample, trample...

Open the floodgates, it's the US version of the running of the bulls, otherwise known as Black Friday. It's an all out orgiastic, adrenaline-fueled buying frenzy. And the worse the economy, the more people seem to turn out. People don't even look at the tags, they just buy, buy, buy.

Then they spend the following year trying to pay off all the charges, so they can do it again!

Since I have been in the wonderful positions of being:

* the security person who opens the doors (and tried to keep people from stealing stuff) * the salesperson who has to try and keep all these crazy people happy * the clerical who has to input all of the price changes and order all of the clothing and make sure it arrived in time * And the internal auditor who would get rolling hampers full of register tapes to try and balance...

I'm not real fond of this time of year. You could skip right from Thanksgiving to New Year's and I'd be really happy. I like Thanksgiving, turkey and dressing is one of my favorite all-time meals, I even know how to cook a turkey if I have to. But the next five weeks?

Here's a great quote from an article titled Predawn bargains drive retail frenzy

''I love Christmas,'' said Melanie Baker, 32, a schoolteacher. ``It's my favorite time of the year, even though I'm going broke.''

To people in other countries this may look strange, but Americans are conditioned to completely freak out and buy everything they see as soon as Thanksgiving dinner is over. Some stores were open on Thanksgiving day, Garden Ridge Pottery has been open 24 hours a day this week and will stay open through Sunday (I'll bet those are some happy employees). I'm beginning to wonder if the turkey distributors put something in them, maybe steroids, or speed. Or maybe it's the stuffing people, who knows...

I'm sorry, it's not worth it to me to drive around in circles to find a parking place, get bumped and pushed by other shoppers, and then wait in endless lines to actually buy the stuff. If you're just going for the one or two bargains, good for you. But most people can't stop at one or two "good" bargains. Especially if they have a credit card, I've been there.

And while Americans are lining up in the cold at 4 am in front of Wal-Mart and Sears for $20 DVD players, people in other parts of the world are standing in the cold for slightly more important reasons...

Buy Nothing Day

I know it's wishful thinking, but....

I'm not going ANYWHERE today. I spent my entire life living with and working in retail (my dad worked his butt off at the same place I did) and this time of year just makes me feel guilty, broke and frustrated. And I hate crowds and standing in line. Trust me, the stores will still have stuff to buy next week... (And a lot of their really good sales don't happen for another week or two, honestly)