Comment on yesterday's post:

Eek -- that article about the Pope chilled me to the bone. I'm sure it's because the idea of it is in itself a revelation, so to speak; it rings so true, makes so much sense -- despite all rational thought to the contrary.

The time has come, perhaps, to abandon all rational thought.

That's what we have come to... this is one of those situations that the emotional and illogical James T. Kirk must solve... Spock's logic is obviously not working. Maybe there is a great vampiric monster that feeds off of chaos and despair, just sucking up the emotions of the world. But so many in this world, especially in America, have just become emotionally dead instead of panicked and paranoid. Your mind and body can't stay on high alert forever, eventually you just go numb. I didn't use to be a conspiracy theorist but I've even wondered if maybe they put something in the Viagra, or the Prozac to numb us all, muddle our thinking and keep us quiet while they raped and looted the world right in front of us, and told us not to believe our own eyes and ears. That everything they're doing is "for our own good" and is necessary.

I'm a very literal, logical person.. I'm a Capricorn. I've always been that way. I'm not comfortable with high emotions, they fray my nerves and drain my energy. When someone does something seemingly irrational, I can almost always think of some motivation to explain "why" from their warped perspective. A lot of violence is motivated by anger, which often comes from fear. One of many reasons I thought I'd be good at law enforcement was because I could view things very objectively - dissect the emotions from the action and see past the immediate distractions. My Aquarian husband sees things through his emotions first, and always from his own point of view. He takes everything personally, and thinks other people react the way he does. Not a lot of grey in between. His perspective is actually the norm for most people, and is usually not the best way to deal with problems. I've spent my life seeking out the grey areas, but now I'm beginning to focus on the black and white ends of the spectrum, it's the only way I think I'm going to remain sane.

Sorry... I'm rambling. But the more I analyze the world of today, the more I'm realizing that the mess we're in right now really is a matter of black and white. And not skin color, but just basically good and bad. And the bad is going to destroy the white and all of the shades of grey if we don't do something to stop it. And it's so obvious what is going on. We need to believe our eyes and hearts and shut off the nagging voice in our heads that says "no one would let people starve... let people die... kill people... just for money and power". Yes, apparently they would.

The German people thought "no one would commit genocide in these modern times", but they did. As long as we keep believing "they wouldn't really do that" they'll keep doing it. As long as we let them. What have they got to lose? We need to refind our sense of righteous indignation and self-worth and learn to just say NO, you can't do that. And ignore all the distractions they are throwing at us to confuse and disorient us, just focus on the elephant behind the curtain.

And stop believing just because someone on TV says something is right, it must be (they must be smarter than us - they're on TV), when we KNOW it's wrong. We need to stand up for ourselves and not just nod and say nothing when we disagree. We still know what is right and what is wrong, and if we keep saying nothing and "going along" it won't make it better, it will just keep getting worse.

Mural on the front of a voodoo shop, I believe this is Island of Salvation Botanica

OK,, if they're not evil cyborgs, the only theory that makes sense is...

... George Bush really is the Antichrist and is here to bring on the end of the world.

Apparently he's competant at something. I mean, really, he's got all the money, all the power, what else can he possibly want?

Hmmm, if he can control the weather, maybe that means Texas will be safe...

Wow, even the Pope suspected...

I've spent the night editing the scans I did the other night of my extra New Orleans postcards, I have over 50 of them... this one brings back memories of visiting with my parents, looking at it fullscreen just made me want to cry...

And the only logical theory I can think of to explain the insanity that's going on in our country is...

...the Neocons are actually evil cyborgs from Mars that are here to take over the planet.

No actual human being could behave like this during a time of such crisis, even accidentally.

Royal at Esplanade Street -- click image for larger view

OK, I think the digestive problems I had the other day were not caused by food poisoning but by an accumulation of nerves and stress. I have a hiatal hernia and my entire upper abdomen has been swollen, painful and feels like there is a large rock in there, especially when I am moving around. I haven't had problems much in that area lately and I'm trying to remember what the hell to take for it. I used to take a generic anti-spasmodic called Hyoscyamine (sp?) but I think when I went to the doctor for my physical last I got a version with Belladonna in it, which I took once and had head to toe hives afterward so I dunno... It's been hurting for three days now, I might call my stranded friend and see if her husband can call me the old prescription in... I hate to bug him for something silly like that, but he's helped me out with antibiotics and things before.

Speaking of, I haven't talked to my friend Mary today. We tend to be late night chatters and I hate to think I'm going to wake up her baby, husband, and other relatives by calling too late. She's been mostly using her cellphone, but since her former household is all in one room now I think I'll let her call me.

I made a grocery store run tonight, we were starting to run out of "important" things like Sparky's Diet Mountain Dew and popcorn. And I was down to one minibag of Watermelon Jelly Bellies, my current sugar addiction. I actually like the Buttered Popcorn flavored ones better, but the little kiosk in my grocery store has only had Watermelon, Cinnamon and now Licorice (and several little multiflavor bags, I may have to get one of the Tropical Asst. next). I've falled off the sugar and candy wagon again... I'd like to start drinking again but I've been having too many bladder related problems and really don't want to deal with that right now.

I went to the store after dinner because I had to get some DVDs up on Ebay if I want to have any money at all this weekend (my commission people need to be paid), and I didn't get hardly anything done this past week. The store was full of unfamiliar faces, and a few yuppies trying to get their stuff and get out as fast as possible. I have to admit to one actual moment of being a little worried when a group of black teenagers got a little too excited in the back of the store, which I was headed to. They didn't sound violent, just way too excited to be in a grocery store at 10 pm on a Monday night. There were lots of young people shopping tonight, not at all the normal clientele. And some of the young men who worked there were discussing an episode of someone being robbed for flashing too much money, nice...

Last week's shopping trip was actually much more dangerous, and that was several days before the storm even hit. A young woman was robbed at gunpoint while I was in the store shopping, and because the way the place is laid out (it's a huge maze after a recent remodel, bad idea guys), all I could hear was someone screaming and cursing and them a lot of banging around. When I got back up towards the front of the store, I saw a young black female bodybuilder that I had passed earlier (she was beautiful, you had to notice her), pacing back and forth at the front of the store, screaming into her cellphone, and there were some displays of bicycles and things laying on their sides in her wake, which would explain the crashing sound. I had to sideline one of the sackers to escort me out to get the story of what actually happened.

I got an escort out tonight too. Besides feeling like crap (I had to load and unload all of the groceries once already), Sparky had heard some stories from the convenience store in our neighborhood that they were going to such extremes as not selling money orders after 4:00 pm for the safety of their customers and themselves, because there were a lot more people than normal walking around the area. So as my sacker is helping me out the door, and I'm trying to balance the cart (I stuff as much as possible into it each time, I hate to grocery shop) three police cars with lights and sirens fly down the street, in a huge fricking hurry. When I was a few blocks from my turn-in, I saw where they all were... right at the end of my street, great. There must have been eight police cars, two ambulances and I'm sure some wreckers in the melee, I turned in a few blocks early because it appeared the street was blocked in both directions. They were all out there for about an hour, so it was probably an auto accident.

There's just too much drama, I hate drama. I could live the rest of my life without any more drama, but there's just no way to avoid it. I think I'm going to channel some of my energy into ransacking my wardrobe and looking for things to give to charity. It looks like there are a few clothing donation centers that aren't too far away that I can give clothing to the hurricane victims, Star of Hope and Goodwill. I used to give to the Houston Women's Center a lot, but they stopped accepting donations directly. Purging with a cause makes me feel better, and I still have a lot more clothes than I wear working at home. I've given several cash donations to the Red Cross, Noah's Wish, the Houston Humane Society, and the Houston Humane Society (which I give to fairly regularly anyway), every little bit helps.

Too braindead to write tonight, I also just realized I have about 60 New Orleans postcards that I need to scan and put up on Ebay... another "haven't gotten around to it" project. Someone bought one from me tonight and my brain said, oh yeah, they've suddenly gone from dirt cheap to valuable. And now I've started looking at NOLA postcards for me again because so many are being thrown out there (I have a huge collection already), it's a vicious cycle...

Excerpts from today's New York Times op-ed article:

Almost as soon as the cameras began panning over the rooftops, and the helicopters began chopping free those trapped in their attics, a chorus of voices rose. "Why didn't they leave?" people asked both on and off camera. "Why did they stay there when they knew a storm was coming?" One reporter even asked me, "Why do people live in such a place?"

Well, here's an answer. Thousands didn't leave New Orleans because they couldn't leave. They didn't have the money. They didn't have the vehicles. They didn't have any place to go. They are the poor, black and white, who dwell in any city in great numbers; and they did what they felt they could do - they huddled together in the strongest houses they could find. There was no way to up and leave and check into the nearest Ramada Inn.

I know that New Orleans will win its fight in the end. I was born in the city and lived there for many years. It shaped who and what I am. Never have I experienced a place where people knew more about love, about family, about loyalty and about getting along than the people of New Orleans. It is perhaps their very gentleness that gives them their endurance.

They will rebuild as they have after storms of the past; and they will stay in New Orleans because it is where they have always lived, where their mothers and their fathers lived, where their churches were built by their ancestors, where their family graves carry names that go back 200 years. They will stay in New Orleans where they can enjoy a sweetness of family life that other communities lost long ago.

But to my country I want to say this: During this crisis you failed us. You looked down on us; you dismissed our victims; you dismissed us. You want our Jazz Fest, you want our Mardi Gras, you want our cooking and our music. Then when you saw us in real trouble, when you saw a tiny minority preying on the weak among us, you called us "Sin City," and turned your backs.

Well, we are a lot more than all that. And though we may seem the most exotic, the most atmospheric and, at times, the most downtrodden part of this land, we are still part of it. We are Americans. We are you.

Royal Street at night.. click on the image to see the larger photo in a new window


I have lots of photos of New Orleans (B.K.) that I've taken over the last few years that I've been meaning to put up on the New Orleans page of my main website, so I'm going to post some here just to give myself something positive to do. I've also been meaning to change the focus of the page away from Anne Rice and more towards New Orleans in general. I haven't read an Anne Rice book in years (nothing personal, too busy), and the annual parties are (were) mostly very small private affairs that I did not attend. And Ms. Rice has finally moved away from her beloved NOLA (did she know something we didn't?).

People write me occasionally to ask me what to do, where to go in New Orleans, and want details on the disbanded fan club, but alas, I don't live there, I'm just one of the many people who worship the city. I grew up going on vacations there with my family, went there many times as an adult to visit, attended quite a few of the ARVLFC balls, and my best friend (who grew up in the area) moved back there at the turn of the century.

It's always been my dream to live there, I figured I'd probably move there when I was older and my family in Houston no longer needed me. I even considered joining the police department back during a solo 1989 trip, but the salary was so low it wasn't really a practical option.

To those of us who grew up on the Gulf Coast, this is our 9/11. Except imagine the buildings burning for days on end, instead of hours. People stood in the gaping, broken windows for five days, pleading and screaming for help... At least they have finally cleared the Superdome and Convention Center, that was just too heartbreaking to watch. Especially when celebrities and news crews didn't seem to have any problems getting in, but the government seemed to be completely baffled, as if they had never seen water before.

I've been listening to Cassandra Wilson's Belly of the Sun on repeat this evening, Songs like "You Gotta Move", "Darkness on the Delta" and "Shelter From the Storm" are even more poignant and moving than usual.

And an added note, before Sparky went to bed he was flipping channels and we saw Celine Dion's hysterical outburst on Larry King (I think she was also one of the few that spoke off script in the 9/11 concert, I'm not a fan, but I admire her heart), and Kanye West's complete comments from the Friday night Hurricane Concert. (Poor Mike Myers) But I must disagree, Dubya doesn't just hate black people, he hates all Americans (except the very elite, and those in the Federalist Society I suppose).