have your own feelings and ideas(reprinted from Catalyst, the newsletter of the Houston Area Women's Center. Call 713-528-6798 to help, or if you need help in the Houston area call 713-528-2121. The HAWC has a Teen Dating Violence educational program)
Sixty percent to eighty percent of all rapes involve acquantainces or friends. In fourteen percent of the cases reported, the rapist is a close friend, a member of the family or a friend of the family. Women are less likely to report rape by a friend or relative.
have your own feelings and ideas
be heard
be safe
not be hit or assaulted
not be criticized
say no
be respected
privacy
affection, love and understanding
have fun
If it hurts or scares you, it's not love. Relationships should make both partners feel good about themselves and about each other.
your happiness is not important to your partner
your ideas and feelings don't count
you are doing things that you don't want to do
your partner is always checking on you
you are not allowed to make decisions
you are not allowed to disagree
you are afraid of making your partner angry
you are punished through silence, humiliation, force or in other ways
for not doing what your partner wants
you are pushed, shoved, shaken, pinched, slapped, kicked, bitten, have
your hair pulled or are otherwise frightened or hurt
you are threatened
you are forced to have sex when or in ways you don't want to
you would be afraid to leave the relationship if you wanted